I feel like I'm the only one

[Effievogue]

Hey everyone, my family and friends found out I'm bulliemic around a month ago after I was vomiting blood, I was so worried I told my mum who took me to a specialist who said my gullet was tearing and if I carried on my stomach would detach. My boyfriend was heartbroken and kept saying I lies to him, my family just think it's attention seeking and say that I'm scaring them more each day and I feel completly insane, no one understands the guilt that swarms over me every time I eat whether it be a big massive burger or a salad!!! I need to know someone out there feels the same! Xxx

[anonomousmia]

hey, you are not the only one! My family also found out just over a month ago, because my mum opened one of my letters from the eating disorder service! so I can completely relate. . . .also if you've been vomitting blood, it sounds very serious! I have only vomitted very small amounts of blood so I must be lucky I guess?. . .Anyway. . .our situation sound exactly the same, except my family knew I wasn't attention seeking because I'm normally the sensible, intellegent one, sort of thing. But they didn't or couldn't understand AT ALL.

Mum acted like she wasn't really bothered, and just ignored the fact anything was wrong, my dad and I didn't talk for weeks, we just passed each other by without saying a word. My sister would try to make light of the situation by making jokes or comments such as 'pukey lukey' that were actually really hurtful. I was SO down for a couple of weeks, however things got alot better.

It's really hard but you HAVE to be open with them and talk to them. Or atleast one of them, who ever you feel more comfortable with. You could firstly ask them to look at a particular website that gives information on eating disorders so they understand more in general and then talk to them personally about your experiences. It will be awkward as hell to start the conversation (lucky my dad did that for me as it was tearing him apart :( ) but you'll feel so much better afterward, honest.

I also have a boyfriend, and again its pretty much the same as above. You have to communication what your feeling etc. My boyfriend handled it SOOOO well, I couldn't of asked for more, he's really amazing. If you open up to him you might find he's more understanding. I hope your ok, and you are NOT alone. xx

[Effievogue]

Thanks so much for responding! It's so weird because or situations are alike, my sister takes the piss aswell. My bf finds it difficult because it's the "your perfect the way you are" and he doesn't understand why I have my weight issues. I'm being referred to counciling and stuff, I don't think my family really want to know, they think because I've seen 1 stomach specialist I'm now ok and my faimly used to tell me I was fat all he time until this all came out. I'm happy that you responded because my friends don't understand and I know no one. Who is like this! Where you from? X

[anonomousmia]

yes, my boyfriend tells me how perfect I look all the time, and that I have an amazing figure and I don't know how beautiful I am etc. But I'm like, well obviously he thinks I'm good looking otherwise he wouldn't be my boyfriend lol. Of course your family will want to know, they obviously care, but probably don't have the faintest idea how to handle it. Thats what happend with my parents. Seriously I thought they weren't really bothered because they didn't talk to me at all, then my Dad has been in tears twice when having heart to heart conversations with me. And they also offered (and came with me) to my first specialist appointment at the hospital, which showed they did care :).

I lived with a house of 4 other girls this year, and they tried helping me but as I became depressed, I isolated myself from them and they they turned on me saying I was being inconsiderate not talking to them and being in the bathroom all the time etc, I wanted to disappear then, worse couple of days of my life when they told me all that stuff. You need to find the right friend to tell because I have a few friends that know now and some have been completely useless. Although none have judged me for it or treated me any differently :) like a real friend should. I'm from England, the midlands. You? x