how often do you b/p?

[silentxrainxdrops]

i've been b/p more and more lately after i had been purge free for about 3 months and i'll usually do it about 4-7 times a day but not every day. it's weird if i b/p once i'll end up doing it more and more but there are days when i'll go completely without it. or sometimes i just purged without a binge before. so what are all of your b/p habits?

[chelsea__x]

im the same. if i start, i end up doing it more and more, however if i stop i dont do it for ages. i can go for months without purging atall but sometimes i do it after every thing i eat. blahhhhhhhhhh

[zci]

I have been on and off for years...so, sometimes as you both, I can go/ did go w/o up to3 months, then sometimes it would be a few times aweek, and when it hits me badly I do it for months everyday between 1 to 4 times...

[anonomousmia]

god, i sound completely different with respect to this. . . .i tend not to eat a lot reali then as soon as i eat, at ne point in the day i hav a binge n purge, n then exercise afta to. so my answer is. . .i do this everyday!! even if im at work! . . .my supervisor found out last week actually, that was awkward but luckily he was a friend before being my boss so wasn't like totally aweful. its so annoyin because I used to find it so easy to do fast's etc, but now i just cant because I know I can maintain my weight even when I'm binging?!

just got back from a weekend with the boyfriend though as he has been away for 9 weeks, and i didn't b/p once!!! this is the 1st two days i've had off bulimia since june! had a 3 course meal both nights! :-) x

[mig]

once or twice when I'm in a good mood , whenever I feel bad I don't count , I've never been able to stop doing it for months or.. days

[nathrakh]

I used to do it about 2/3 times per day, till up to 1 month ago when i just decided it could no longer continue like this. As i started to hate myself more more. Im trying to lessen now. Have been doing it 1/2 times per week so far this month :/

[twicethetaste]

for me i binge when i get angry or sad.
The other day I had gotten into a really bad arguement with my new boyfriend, and i ate two huge plates of dinner.
I ate until i couldnt swallow, i was sitting there feeling like i was going to throwup just from eating so much.

I still live with my parents so i cant BP every day, I would if i didnt live here.
It is such a waste of food, but i feel diffrent when i BP rather than not eating at all.

I've been following your journal entries and you've been doing great, when you feel like you're going to Binge try to distract yourself, i play tetris, and work out.
I do chores alot of the time too, like cleaning my room or dishes, if i do something productive instead of eating, its a 2 in one. Im loosing weight and getting stuff done.

[zci]

Yeah, Nathrakh, that is great :-) I could use some of your will power...I was doin fine last week, put slipped up after coming home from my parents, and today I BP 3 times :-( and I am still not "satisfied", am having a glass of wine to calm my nerves and keep me out of my friggin kitchen :-(

[nathrakh]

I dont really have too much willpower. I just keep my kitchen empty :(. Or binge loads of raw vegetables. No need to purge those. And i feel like binging real big, and real soon. Have had some foods on my mind for like weeks and just want them so bad, i cant stop thinking about them.

[zci]

I see...still, I feel with u, in that I hate to have a full kitchen...even though I do stock up, since I get anxiety at the stores and dont wanna go in there more than once or twice a week...

[nathrakh]

I drink a lot of diet coke. And dont want too much food at once in my home at once, because if i eat it all ill become fat. Usually i go to work for some hours. Then i buy enough food for a day and eat a bit, or maybe a lot. But if i want to eat more then i would have to go back to the store again, wich i wont. Since going to the store twice in a row to hoard food is very very awkward. The people in my local grosery must already think im a creep. With my scared arms and fat face and all. Visiting so often.

[nathrakh]

This awkward guy is a good customer tho :p

[zci]

I know exactly how u feel, tonight I binged and purged 3 times, and between the second and the third time I had to go out and get things, so I came into this store, after having been to starbucks, I went in there, already carrying a large double chocolate chip drink, buying two pints of B and J icecream...I must have had "bulimic" written on my forehead...that is what I think bc I got so many looks, especially guys...and that unfortunetly wanted to make me do this even more :-( I felt like crap and still there is this voice inside me telling me: just do it...crap :-(

[nathrakh]

I always have this kinda voice telling me i should just eat these things i like for once and purge them out later. Or just fast after. Because there are so few things in life i enjoy it sounds pretty tempting to give in to them, since eating them will make me feel good for a couple of minutes untill im finished. Then i feel most disgusting ever. Went on my daily grocercy store trip today and really wanted to buy applepie and some waffles with vanilla icecream since i have been craving that for months but ignoring them :(. Luckily i managed to keep hold of myself and leave the store with some drink soup(7 kcal per) Some noodles for tommorow(350 kcal per) and some diet coke. But i do want it so bad. And i feel like crying just because i cant have it, it will make me fat! Sigh someone else would have just bought it and ate it, enjoyed it, and not worry about it, and just have fun the rest of the day. But i cant.

[zci]

I know exactly what u r saying...for instance I dont go to McDonalds for months, then I find myself dreaming about it, and then a couple of days later I have the courage to actually go and buy two large meals...it absolutely sucks! normal people really just listen to their body and have things and then get on with their lives...

[nathrakh]

Also rediculous. When im at someone else. Im affraid to gain weight, and i always refuse to have like a cookie or something when they offer it. And sometimes i get home and totally stuff myself with 3k+ kcals. Im affraid to eat a 50 kcal cookie........ But seem to be ok with stuffing my face like that..... Im trying really hard to quit it, but. More and more im starting to feel i should just give in to it once, just to feel happy once. Even for just a moment. I just cant get these foods out of my head. I have been thinking about them for weeks now. And i know i will keep thinking about them. But i also know that when i eat em i will feel really really realllly bad like i always do. And since they have so much kcals i might not be able to purge them all even. Sometimes my gagging doesnt work.

[nathrakh]

And that is the most horrible feeling ever. If u just binged enough calories for 3-4 days. And cant get it up.

[zci]

OMG I really feel the same, refusing food with friends, only to stuff myself when I am alone!! and yes, eating and not getting it up, f***** freaks me out, and yes it happens!!! normally I find myself eating more, without any appetite, just so I am so full that I have to purge eventually...glad I am not the only one! hug to u :-(... :-)

[nathrakh]

I always undereat on days i dont binge, so im kinda always very very very hungry. Undereat is both a pre-caution for upcomming binges, and one of the things that causes binges. I cant eat small bits tho. Its either all or nothing.

[nathrakh]

And ur posts always make me sad zci. Seems like u try so hard, so much harder then i do. But have such a hard time stopping.

[Sofy88]

i do like you guys...there are periods of time when i do it everyday and sometimes more than once...and other times where i can spend a week or 2 without doing it...it depends on my moon, when i eat, where i am...

[nathrakh]

Sigh, the above mentioned cycle of mine repeated itself. I gave in to the things i have been craving for weeks yesterday. Ate so much cake that i still feel sick of it, even today. Didnt purge anything of it, had about 8000/9000 kcal. But maybe this mistake is a good thing. Ive found my discipline and willlpower get lower and lowering during the past few weeks. Now the willl To punish, and endure suffering is high again. Im gonna starve and mutilate myself so much that a prison sentence in cuba will seem like a holiday. ;p

[zci]

hey nathrakh, sorry, totally differnt question since u from Europe: how many cals is a kcal...k= thousand, that I did grasp, but I like that in the US ther r cals on packaging, in Switzerland I am always confused about kcal....hehehehehe

[nathrakh]

In theory, a kcal stands for kilocalorie wich is (1000 calories). But since a average person needs 2.000.000/2.500.000 calories per day to survive the numbers are too big to count in calories so they are being counted in kilocalories. However people use the term calories instead of kilocalories, while meaning kcals.

But u should have calories/kcals on package aswell in switserland right?

[OliviaLovee]

I purge every time I binge. I am such a fat big. But I only binge three to four times a week, at most. Every binge is about 500-1000 calories within an hour time. Yuck. I try not to bunge because I don't want purging to become a habbit.

[anonomousmia]

grrr, i purged 3 times today ( twice at work?! :S!!). . .2 of them were after binges. piss myself right off!!!

[nathrakh]

That that binge also really seems to have added so much fat to my body. Its digusting. Such punishment for 1 mistake.

[Sofy88]

Dont be too hard on yourself! it happens sometimes!
just go back on track and you will lose everything very very soon =)

[nathrakh]

I will lose everything soon enough. Im taking immediate action. A big fast. Minimum of 5 days, if i still have enough energy to stand on my legs after it will bbe extended longer. 40 hours in the fast now :) I actually felt a bit good bout myself for the first time in years some days ago untill i binged. Then i learned for once and for all, how bad food is. I wont make the mistake again. Food is not meant to be, not for me. I just just accept that hunger is the way.

[anonomousmia]

*sigh* . . ., its been so long since i fasted. what a fatty. really have annoyed myself today. . even thought about self harming again which i stopped in february. was close. hmm. . . .might give fasting a whack 2moro, see if i can last the weekend maybe!! x

[nathrakh]

It will be easy once today is over. Shops are closed on sunday :D

[zci]

yeah, I know, but hate to break it (i know u know but for the sake of it...) the shops never close in the US....aaaaaaa I find myself going shopping in the middle of the night :-(

[nathrakh]

Hehe there were countless of times where i wished the stores were open at night here. Since i never have a lot of food in my home and im always hungry.

[zci]

I know!!! I will move home to zurich soon. so I share the same concern :-) ...how r u?? I dont have many other ideas right now...but in a way things in Europe r cool! as much as I will miss chicago...I will have to plan my shopping sprees more...maybe a good thing though??!!

[nathrakh]

Im doing pretty ok i guess, thanks for asking. Starving myself alwyas makes me feel good and happy :)

[nathrakh]

Rawr 50 hours in the fast now ±P

[Sofy88]

OMG, you are doing great! im so proud and jealous of you! i cant do that but i wish i could be as good as you! wow, very good job =)

[nathrakh]

Breaking my fast today. Weight loss results are incredible.

[JustAGirlFromLA]

I used to do it 2-3 times a day, i lost 50 lbs in 3 months. Then I moved and gained 15 back in 1 month. Now I'm starting again....

[MissAnorexic]

I normally never binge or eat tons of food and then purge! I just purge anything I eat.. even water...but then again Im outta control! My doctor tubed me this week. Sucks! I purge about 20- 30 times a day! not to proud of that! being a pro purger is no fun

[claudiasov]

I purge about 20- 30 times a day! not to proud of that! being a pro purger is no fun :eek:

I b/p like 5 times a day

[AnotherDay]

I purge everything, I feel guilty whenever I eat.. even if it is just veggies. I have "stopped" my binging during the day b/c I'm just so tired of running to the bathroom to purge, so now I just do not eat. For the most past now I only eat at dinner with my husband and kiddos...then I head to the bathroom when no one is looking. So I guess I only purge once a day now. However there are those days when I feel my world spinning out of control and I b/p all day, sometimes every hour. It's a daily choice isn't it??? Do I feel hungry today? Do I really have the energy to purge all day long? Do I just not eat? What to do, what to do.

[mimm]

It's real irony but it reallly went so bad after going to doctor with my problem. I now think about my eating disorder constantly and it makes me eat... and then i feel like I shouldn't and I throw up. That kind of anxiety circle can crush over me like 3-4-5 times if there is nothing that would distract me.
It's crazy. I feel so out of control. And it makes me fat and i feel like I can't stop.

Sorry about grammar/spelling mistakes.

[pointeshoes]

I don't technically "binge." My idea of a binge is a pop-tart, dried fruit, or a smoothie.

But I purge 2-3 times a day, usually at night.