I dont want to stop

[imkeeler]

I have been bulimic for a few months now. For some reason, I have no urge to stop bingeing or purging. I feel like it's just too easy, and I can't resist food. It started out I would just throw up after I ate so I wouldn't gain weight, but now I know I can get rid of it, I find myself bingeing a few times a day.

In the back of my mind I know I want to hate this, but I don't.

Anyone feel like this?

[Pamela23]

I feel the exact same way. I feel like the only reason I try to hide it is because I know that everyone else will tell me that it's wrong, when I don't feel like it's bad for me.

[hellotheregirl_]

yepp i completely agree, i have no reason to stop, and it is so easy that it just seems to make sense. i feel so bad saying it though, i know there are people who would love to be out of all of this but personally i feel as if i should keep going, and have o reason or need to stop. the only thing that does make me question it is the hassle of having to lie to my parents and friends, but i know it's worth it.

[izzy]

Hey girls,

I've been bulimic in the past and I know how great it can be...

A neighbour of mine, Cathy, was probably one of the most beautifuL women I'd ever known or even seen. She had the most perfect, I mean PERFECT figure. We're talking Giselle here... I had no idea she was bulimic until she died. She choked to death while purging.

I haven't purged since.

The worst bit is that her two little twin boys are now left without a mum. They were only 2 when it happened.

I know this story is extreme and it definitely doesn't happen everyday but I thought you should be aware of the risks.

The next time you purge think of all the people that would be abandoned, hurt, scared if something like that happened to you.

[Pamela23]

I've read about that happening to people while purging. I know it sounds awful, but I just make sure I chew my food really well, and hope for the best. I hope that by the time I have children I'll stop all of this. I would probably feel differently if it happened next door, since it's still kind of an unreal idea for me, and the image in the mirror is in my face every day.

For now, it's just gut wrenching when my friends ask me for advice on how to lose weight. I ate low carb and ran a lot to lose the first ten pounds, so that's what I tell them.

[model]

if you read closer you will realise that the people that want to get out of bullemia are the people that have been doing it for YEARS!! long enough to have the seriously bad side effects, and dont worry they will come, i started just the same. it was so simple and easy but evenutually your body will pay the price, even though it may seem at the moment that it wont. if u could have a photograph of your insides in a few years time it would scare the crap you. so for now it seems fine cos theres no real difference, but in a while there will be

[allie.mo]

yeah, i feel the same.

i love it, it makes me feel like i have some control. it also just feels good, it like gives me a buzz right after i purge.. it's the weirdest thing. i've lost a whole bunch of weight too, the only sucky thing is i will never be able to stop because i know that if i do it will all come back :/

[waterwings]

I've always been self conscious about my appearance and do everything possible to maintain skinny; I even started crystal to get even skinnier than I already was and started a bad habit, I was scared about getting addicted to this stuff as I was already not eating, puking when I did, and then, on Meth for several months that I ran away to another province to get away from the drugs. I tried to be happier with myself and life, and I met a really get guy that I think I actually love, I haven't purged in for 7 months and then he says that I was gaining wieght, that I should watch what I eat because he noticed my figure and he didn't want me to lose it, I still thought I was skinny but after hearing that ...
I've been purging everytime after I eat again; been doing so for the past 3 months and I forgot how easy it was. I don't make a sound, I'm in and out of the bathroom so quickly no one questions .... I even created habits, ways to avoid people ever knowing, inspiring music to keep me from eating, and even started a diary and punishments for even thinking about eating ...


But I don't know if I'm happy or if this is still right ...
But I don't want to stop ...
I just want people to notice me ...

[Rost]

it is the same for any addiction really, you know you should stop, but there is something holding you back telling you that you should carry on because you 'enjoy' it. i dont have any particular urge to stop purging, but when you mess your throat up, it will really make you think about what you are doing - whether or not you think you can stop. there is really no advice to anyone in your situation - because as my ex girlfriend said (she was also bulimic), the only reason you will ever stop is if you want to. :confused: