fingers Vs toothbrush

[anonomousmia]

ok, so not the most pleasent of subjects, but to be honest its what we all do on here. I had this thought whilest purging today (random I know). .

but I wondered if people swing between the two? or just stick the one method? as I normally use my fingers, but recently if at home i have began to use my toothbrush more as its a guaranteed purge. I actually saw a documentary once where a woman said she had been bulimic for so many years (I think it was like 12/15) that she could no longer purge with either so had to use a plastic bag, which she knew could kill her, because of choking! that's really crazy, but that's how much it had consumed her.

I have found. . .that a toothbrush is more effective (i can get all of it down my throat, right up to the bristles?!) but it hurts if you poke around too much (I shouldn't laugh but I just did because of how generally I'm talking about it?) and that fingers can be easier and you can wriggle them around and they don't hurt, but sometimes (about one a week or so) I randomly just cannot purge with my fingers. Does any one else find this happens?

And after using my toothbrush I develop a tickly cough for like 5/10minutes! Any one get that to? Just curious I guess on what other people do as I don't have a group session or anything so don't know any one who is going through a similar thing.xx

[zci]

Hey there hun, I know, I always think like "lets not give advice and compare"...lol...ANYWAY, I always use my fingers, in the beginning I used to do it with one, now it is always two, but about the gag reflex, ...well, I always have it, especially lately bc I am starting to have normal days, since I am really trying hard to loose this, so if I dont do it up to three days, then I almost dont need fingers, it just works...and I have never done it with a toothbrush, since this all hurts already enough...

[nathrakh]

I usually use both starting with fingers, till nothing comes up anymore, then continue with toothbrush and switch till i feel like i purged most of it out.

[zci]

:confused:question: I feel I am always "efficient" meaning that I binge like maybe 1 h, at the most, and then purging, at the most about 40 min...is that bad, should I try harder!? I mean, my stomach hurts already then, and now I just feel, like have I been doin this all wrong the whole time?? I know, very stupid question, so if anyone wants to pay me back about me calling other posts stupid...go ahead...my rituals have worked so far, but sometimes I feel that I am even too stupid for mia :-( does sound friggin crazy???!!! lol I mean, even if docs tell u, I feel I am failing...shit!!!!!!!!!! wtf?? People seem to take it on for hours...I feel evil, like I betray myself

[blah]

i hate purging
rarely do it
but im not gonna say i haven't/don't
i did it last week for example..sigh

i just use a couple fingers, and it comes pretty easily for me
actually really easily. only problems ive had is my jaw popping/hurting
i do it in the sink though, so that might help
toilets gross me out

TMI

[zci]

no not at all... lol.. more "tmi" I use my sink until it is clogged, then I have to remedy that and use the toilet...but it actually works better there bc I am grossed out even more...:-(

[blah]

yeah drain-o has became my friend
i used to do it in the shower too
my parents have a new house though, so the clogging n whatever wasn't a problem much and i did it most when i lived there right before moving, n i also never purged til the end of my anorexia before my almost 1 yr recovery/ednos phase then back to anorexia again..with a slight tendency for bulimia. GAWD i suck. lol and no zci, you do not fail at bulimia.. thats ur crazy, self critical mind talking. u do just fine at that. which is BAD BAD BAD!!! but i know you are going to get better, you've gotten far in trying. my mind is not even there yet, i don't want to try. but i know i should. i look up to you for that (:

[zci]

Blah...thank u, u know, I am sooo emo sometimes but reading this just puts tears in my eyes! I am very torn between recovery and still thinking things that I can achieve...but u r right in that it is our sickness...its in our heads :-( and u know what?? u really do not suck either, what so ever, hug. we r just painfully hard on ourselves, jesus!! U comfort me, I comfort u....and we all have the same thoughts, right? it is just so much "easier" giving hope and pos thoughts to someone else, right?? but it still is truely genuine...gosh blah, I send u a great big bear hug! and even if u dont wanna do the whole recovery thing...believe me, it takes time and I am not judging anyone, ever, and when I get worked up about posts and voice my opinion it is bc young girls think ed is "fashion" never bc of any of your posts...really, I mean I put some neg things out there as well!! so, stay true to yourself, we have to start loving...

[blah]

thankyou zci! giant hug back! if only we could be friends in RL. and it's not that i don't necessarily want to recover, i know i would be happier if i did, but at the same time i am not trying to recover, or anywhere near that point. so sick that i can't get there i guess, but i can understand that i WILL be happier when i do get better and that it IS possible. i know thatn no matter how low i go i will just be unhappier. eating can seem like its worse, but that goes away with time. just our minds trying to gain control..if only we didn't need that. but that's why you're so inspirational to me, yeah you fuck up, yeah you b/p every now and again or even all the time sometimes. but you're trying to give it up, trying very hard and doing very well. fighting between health and happiness or the false sense of control and happiness. being confused about what you want to do or will do doesn't mean you are a failure. i hope you take some classes in switzerland like you did in Chicago. and don't worry about your dad, it's just hard for some people to understand and sometimes all they can show is disregard or anger. i know most of my ED problems have caused mostly anger over any sort of remorse or sadness in my family. people just get so frustrated, but it's only because they care. don't take a b/p as a set back, and dont take a binge as one either. nor a healthy set of meals and no purging. you are beautiful, but it is your mind you have to focus on healing now. focus on that, there are no set backs. just keep the goal in mind. you will be happy! eventually!

[zci]

thank u so much blah! I could talk to u the whole night!! an yes, In RL, that would be wonderful :-) I have to make myself turn my computer off, bc, talking about it... group starts at 10am...lets msn this weekend or otherwise soon?! do I have your contact? sorry, I forget who has it, lol, but I will PM u right now before I go to sleep, deal? I am soo happy that I can be an input, am working on it :-) I just think, we all deserve a chance in life, there will come a time for us all where there is peace, sooner or later, and if later that is great to! We have to learn (I have to learn...) that we cant force things, I find it inspiring to think that everything serves a purpose! hug again and Hug, u have also been through a lot lately, so I wish u strength and success in every aspect of your life :-)

[Sofy88]

i've always used my fingers cuz im a little scared to use my toothbrush...i dont know why, im just afraid to choke i think...
my problem now 2 days ago i was not able to purge and i had to digest pretty much everything i ate. so now im thinking about a different method to do it...maybe its the time to try the toothbrush...
anyways in this 2 days i had no more that 600 calories...maybe if i dont b/p for a little while im gonna be able to do it again next week...its really hard no to b/p...i have this feeling growing in me that i need to do it and its really hard to resist...hopefully i can do it for some other days...

[chelsea__x]

he guys, sorry to interupt. i just feel what your feeling down to every detail. on one side, you want to recover because you feel like your in a hellish circle. on the other, you feel asif you cant get help because i you ask for help people are going to feed you and if they feed you you want to be sick an if they dont let you be sick then you get fat. fatter. and feel shitter. i dont know where to go, i dont know how to get out of this. i also feel like crying when i read this, i want to help you so badly because i know how much your hurting but i cant because i dont even know how to help myself
how do we get out of this big big big black hole

[zci]

hun, as u said. it is hard to let go...how to overcome??? well, being where I am, I think that u have to let go...and it so easy to write this. but I am also there where u think like gosh,this is the last time, and it is very freaky...just rember yourself, as u have been without this, as a happy person, for me... lol, I have to think back like 10 years...but it does help...hug

[chelsea__x]

your advice is so encouraging :) i just wish i could take it all on board. i suppose, that nothing ever stays the same forever. i will just have to wait for it to change and try my best to resist in the mean time. thankyou you are all angels x

[FATTY_McFATTERsin]

Sometimes when i am done eating my food comes up on its own! Is anyone eles like this?

[anonomousmia]

jealous much!! no i can never just be sick by not using anything to set off my gag reflex!

past few days, been using a toothbrush as its soooo much more efficient than fingers 4 me now.

[Sofy88]

im getting a little frustrating cuz i keep reading that the toothbrush is much more effective then fingers and im not able to use it =(

[anonomousmia]

totally hate giving advice and such. . but i could not use a toothbrush at all when i first started, now its so much easier and more effective than fingers. you'll pick it up . . .eek. i hate that ive just said that but mmm yeah, i dunno. xx

[Sofy88]

im not new whit this i know how it works...im just afrait to choke, thats why i wont use it...i never tried...im too scared :(

[JustAGirlFromLA]

Toothbrush never worked for me. I find having acrylic nails the best, they are sharp so you have to be careful but they make my gag reflex sooo easy :)

[KRIS]

fingers mostly

[ponygirl92]

I only had to "use" anything for like a year, now it just comes up if I lean down and squeeze my stomach muscles, I actually sometimes will read while Im purging, just because I find it so disgusting :/

[jaz3]

I find fingers works for me but if i have eaten a massive meal, it comes up on its own. Iv'e never thought about using a toothbrush???

[claudiasov]

two or sometimes three fingers :p used toothbrush once before but I only hurt myself and nothing came out

[Starving-Beauty]

i always use a toothbrush ive tryed with my fingers maybe once or twice but cant get nothing up and i think using your fingers hurts more. and its super easy with a toothbrush.


FEMALE: 16 5"5=169cm.

CW:116LBS
LW:116LBS
HW:148LBS
GW:112LBS