my boyfriend wants me to stop

[CJN]

Hi guys, I'm new to this and was just looking for some advice i guess, so here goes...

A while ago my boyfriend found out i was throwing up and tried to make me stop, but i just continued doing it behind his back. He's been suspicious recently of me doing it and has told me if i start doing it again, things are gunna get ugly. I love him more than anything but I'm not gunna stop for anyone, but at the same time i don't wanna loose him. It pisses me off so much how he just seems to look at it as some sort of hobby, you can start and stop when you choose, easy. Has it never crossed his mind that maybe i don't wanna stop and its never gunna go away until i see myself as acceptable.
Anyone know what i should do? :s

[SheSails]

You should step into his shoes....
Think about it. Your girlfriend acts normal and you love her for who she is. Then one day you find out she is hurting herself for some insane reason. I don't know how long you guys have been going out, or if 'love' is even the right word, but I'm sure he only wants you to stop becuase he cares.

I hadn't told anyone about how I've been throwing up a lot this summer untill a few days ago when I finally told my boyfriend of 2 years (we've been separated this summer by school involvement so I could keep it secret). It was such a hard thing to do, but I felt an overwhelming, yet terrifying need to actually hear myself say the words. Becuase it meant I had a problem. Once I had defined it, it was real.
He was immeadiately concerned and even got me to promise not to do it anymore. I of course couldn't keep my promise. I feel miserable about it. When we are back together in a few days maybe he can help me get over it. I think that if he is there his encouragement will help so much.

And I have really not enjoyed bulimia. It was amazing for like 7 days. Now I binge before I know what's going on and go to puke, but for some reason I can barely get anything up. It sucks so bad having your big plans backfire on you like that. It's not a good long term idea anyway.

I'm sure this isn't the support you are looking for, just know that it sounds like he really cares. You should really have a good long talk about it. Tell him every gorey detail. We all need a good listener. When you hear what you are saying you might understand why he feels the way he does.

Good Luck girl!

[anonomousmia]

my long term boyfriend aslo knows because i couldnt keep it from him any longer and it was really upsetting me, keeping it all secretive and being down sometimes when meeting him (like afta a terrible b/p) so anyway,yeah i told him, was so emtional. . .and it was exactly the same as shesails says, it was saying it that was so hard because its admitting i had a problem and that i need help.

he was so understanging about it, and obviously very upset as hes knows the dangers. he knows its something you can't turn on and off, and knows i want to stop and im seeking help (although verrrrry slowly as im not very organised, which annoys him sometimes). . .

CJN it sounds like your new to this, because I think if you were truely full blown bulimic you would want to stop and you'd be at least trying to stop for your boyfriends sake, if not your own sake. as shesails has said, sorry for probably saying what you didnt want to hear. but yeah I think it is harsh he has provided you with an ultimatum, but you should talk to him, because I'm sure if he understands it better, and if you show him you want to stop, and seek help he will be much better with the whole thing. however, if you don't want to stop, then you probably will loose him. and in the long term (i'm warning you that the bulimia will get a lot more uglier and out of control) where would you rather be and who would you rather have? a loving relationship with your boyfriend? or a love hate relationship with mia?

just my thoughts. . .i hope your well xx

[CJN]

hi guys, me and my boyfriend are still together :) but its hard keeping secrets from him and i dont want to. What your all saying is true and all your replys have really made me think. When i wake up in the morning, for his sake i tell myself im not gunna do it today and then i look at myself in the mirror and i just get so down. My boyfriends a model so hes surrounded by beautiful SKINNY girls all the time which just makes me feel even lower about myself! Even though he tells me he loves me just the way i am, pft. He scares me when he says hes gunna take me to the doctors but i dnu wetha i think i have a problem or not, he keeps telling me i do, even though i've told him i dont do it anymore. I dnu what to think, why is it so worth lying to the person you love :s :( x

[anonomousmia]

heya, aw bless, so are me n my bf :). I know exactly how that feels, I try to stop myself, but I just can't seem to, its so frustrating. Well, its hard to believe what people say when we see beautiful skinny girls, we automatically think 'why is he going out with me?' but clearly boys are not as superficial as we think. He clearly likes you for who you are, looks wise, and personality wise. You don't know these girls, they could be boring as hell, or really bitchy etc.

I think you should go the Doctors, I did back in January. If your making yourself sick, even if its just twice a week, its not normal and its a problem. I lie to my bf, but I hate myself for it, its like an automatic response to lie for me. It just happens without me even thinking about it. Anyway, hope your ok xx

[Phil]

Hi guys, I'm new to this and was just looking for some advice i guess, so here goes...

A while ago my boyfriend found out i was throwing up and tried to make me stop, but i just continued doing it behind his back. He's been suspicious recently of me doing it and has told me if i start doing it again, things are gunna get ugly. I love him more than anything but I'm not gunna stop for anyone, but at the same time i don't wanna loose him. It pisses me off so much how he just seems to look at it as some sort of hobby, you can start and stop when you choose, easy. Has it never crossed his mind that maybe i don't wanna stop and its never gunna go away until i see myself as acceptable.
Anyone know what i should do? :s

It's either the disease or him. What are you going to choose, you can't have both. He obviously cares about your life which means he's more of a boyfriend than most.
You really need to make a solid decision.
Do you love the way the ED makes you appear in the mirror, or do you love the person who will accept how you look no matter what, and stay by your side. It's your choice. Good luck to you.