Where the mind can take you... (Trigger)

[DoctorDonnaRose]

Have you ever had the experience, when you're cutting, when you know you're going to far. You know the blade is going too deep. But you still do it, cause your brain is telling you 'don't stop, you deserve this' and you make it deeper, cause you want it to hurt more. You want to see that white flesh. But when you're done, and you're beeding way too much, you get super scared?

Yeah. Just happened. Why am I so f*ked up. I went for 3 months without cutting, and now I'm back to square one.

Because I don't want to stop. Not ever.

Is that fucked or what?

[wingspan]

I get this a lot. I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know its too deep into my wrist but something keeps me from stopping. I just don't care if I die or bleed too much when I'm in the moment, but then as the blood starts to pour until its almost black I'm running around rushing to the sink to let it drip and then searching for a big enough band-aid, freaking out a bit. Its funny how I feel like I really want to go to the hospital sometimes, just to sit there and do nothing and maybe be noticed for once... but then when I'm freaking out after cutting too deep I don't want anyone to know and I don't want to go to the hospital. I hate this feeling, it makes me feel really pathetic. :( I know what u mean. I just want it to be so painful, and I want there so be soooo much blood, but then... :/

It's not fucked up. I quit cutting for 3 years and now I'm back, I've been cutting soo much, almost every day, multiple times a day. Please be ok tonight :( Clean your wounds and cover them. If you cant stop the bleeding after a long time, seek help.

[Lollirot90]

This happened to me really bad once. I'd already done one to the fat but it didn't help and my brain just kept egging me on kind of thing. The next one I did I could see something that looked a hell of a lot like bone. It was bad.

It's so scary when you know you should stop but you just can't.

I don't think you're fucked up. But perhaps I'm bias cause I'm not ready to stop (and don't see myself ever stopping) :P I'm sorry this has happened though :( and I do think you should go get some medical attention if the cut's really bad...

[barely_there]

Cough* storyofmylife.

I get in the mindset, play slice-and-dice, and then go overboard with it. Generally that involves going too deep, staining any form of fabric within close contact (carpets, towels, bath mats, my clothes. You name it, I bleed on it.), and me running around like a chicken with its head cut off, as I try to calm myself the fuck down.