The worst binge moment ever.

[njr]

So my day started off normal..coffee for breakfast and then meal replacement bar around 930- I eat them because they have a low glycemic index and it takes a very long time for your body to digest it, therefor you stay full longer. Then i went to the gym around 545 and did my normal deal there, then came home and had a 190 calorie supper. Total cal intake for the day by 7:00 was 400 and i was planning on keeping my day under 700. Anywho, i was looking through some junk drawers for random things and found an entire stash of candy, chocolate, and oreos. My first though was omg just walk away, so i did but the next thing i remember was digging in the drawer for candy :( I was so sad after it started because in my head i was thinking this is going to be a bad one. I had like 10 pieces of candy plus 3 oreos and milk, then decided to go get MORE food from the grocery store! Ive NEVER gone that far before!!! I have no idea what motivated me to do this..but i ended up eating a mini pizza and half a big chocolate bar, a pop tart and half a big muffin- all of these foods are incredibly sugar loaded plus full of bad carbs that i know will cause weight gain. I defenitely ate close to 4500 calories today, seems unreal. Ive never binged this bad. Then i came home and have been feeling really sick for the past 3 hours, my stomache is all bloated and stuff :( I drank some myrolax in hopes that it would cause me to go to the bathroom but its only made me feel more bloated and worse. I hate myself right now and i never want to look at food again. I want to fast tomorrow so bad, i need some encouragement. I was even supposed to go to a friends house tonight but felt so sick after the binge i had to tell her i couldnt come over because i dont feel good. I feel like such a loser, idk why i couldnt have just walked away. Things spiral out of control with me so fast. I dont know how i will get back on track :( Gosh. I hate this.

[iCannotBeLoved]

I know where you are right now, because I've been there too. This cycle of eat / dont eat is so hard to go through, and it leaves you feeling miserable and in a mode of self-loathing. You don't have to go through this anymore! I thought there was no way out and that I was going to binge for the rest of my life, but I found a cure, I found some relief.

Here is what I learned:

People with binge eating disorder tend to restrict b/c of their guilty feelings about their eating habits, but this will only turn into another binge (eventually). Just by eating normally-portioned meals 3x a day and feeling full and satisfied was the first thing that helped me not binge. Bingeing is a form of emotional self-defense, for me it was anxiety and feeling unsafe (like i am in danger), so I had to constantly reassure myself that "I am safe. I am secure. I am okay." - I would say this all day. Whatever feelings you want to mask by bingeing, target that and do some positive reassurance.

Tell yourself that you deserve a healthy lifestyle, and that you love yourself and that you are strong (but say in a "I am" format, it works on the subconsious mind)

Then I discovered the UpDayDownDay DIet (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.-days-and-down-days) and I haven't binged since. And I lost 4 lbs in 12 days. Give it a try, it worked for me and it may as well work for you.

But the best advice I have ever gotten is: ........ WHatever you do, DONT panic!

:)

[brittybabi]

yeah i agree with the above poster.
it'll pass love. you'll look back on this moment and just be like man that sucked but look how hot i am now :]
i know how you feel though. i found pizza in my fridge the other day and i told my self the same thing.
just walk away.
10 minutes later i was stuffing my face with pizza, peanut butter, mac and cheese and soda!
it's hard. so so hard.
i'm here for you! :]
<3 xxx