abitdifferent
11-08-2010, 08:26 PM
So I have been on recovery since tuesday to up my weight etc. I been given the old meal plan which is 3 meals a day, 2 snacks, 2 esures and supper. Well tomorrow is the 1 week mark and I haven't done the meal plan once. I had my first full esure a few days. and throughout the week I have done atleast 2 days with just a sandwich. I had alot of food the other night but that was just 2 giant sized bags of Dorritos and other crap (fizzy drinks). Other nights I've had alot of lucozade although tonight I ate the most I have had this this week.
I didn't eat today/evening but just before midnight (as most times I have eaten !?!?!) I made up a biggg pasta. put half a block of cheese into it and full jar of sauce lol. ate most of it too and I downed my second esure today afterwards and had the other earlier today. I'll be back to the weigh in next weds I think but worried I might of lost more weight. I just can't get into the rythmn of eating again. too much goes around in my head and when it flips everything jus gets dreary and I don't do anything.
I have the rest of the semester off (minus 2 lessons once a week) to do nothing but eat. worked it out and that's like 6 weeks man! I've done 1 so far and I want to give up on it all and just let the slow suicide hit me but then bang my confidence in beating it and been normal grows. completely fucking with me tbh and I just know when I go back to the doctors it's going to be awkward. considering it's all in my hands and no-one elses.
Soon I'll have group session for Eating disorders so that's something that is going on, my councellor suggested it to me so wondering those that had the experience what did you make of it? and anyone recovered how you do it? I don't diet like alot do although I've always been underweight and I've had a brief explanation by the doc why it's related to Anorexia maybe. (not eating as self harm etc long story). I do not see the moods rising properly anytime soon though...and that DEFINANTLEY means the scales aint.
good luck to all
I didn't eat today/evening but just before midnight (as most times I have eaten !?!?!) I made up a biggg pasta. put half a block of cheese into it and full jar of sauce lol. ate most of it too and I downed my second esure today afterwards and had the other earlier today. I'll be back to the weigh in next weds I think but worried I might of lost more weight. I just can't get into the rythmn of eating again. too much goes around in my head and when it flips everything jus gets dreary and I don't do anything.
I have the rest of the semester off (minus 2 lessons once a week) to do nothing but eat. worked it out and that's like 6 weeks man! I've done 1 so far and I want to give up on it all and just let the slow suicide hit me but then bang my confidence in beating it and been normal grows. completely fucking with me tbh and I just know when I go back to the doctors it's going to be awkward. considering it's all in my hands and no-one elses.
Soon I'll have group session for Eating disorders so that's something that is going on, my councellor suggested it to me so wondering those that had the experience what did you make of it? and anyone recovered how you do it? I don't diet like alot do although I've always been underweight and I've had a brief explanation by the doc why it's related to Anorexia maybe. (not eating as self harm etc long story). I do not see the moods rising properly anytime soon though...and that DEFINANTLEY means the scales aint.
good luck to all