I'm really scared and nervous!!

[Twinkles]

I'm kinda freaking out tonight as I have been persuaded to go to an appointment tomorrow morn to do a one to one session at a mood disorder clinic.I've been before to have an assesment for group work,but they decided that I was too depressed to do the group (go figure!)and that the depression wasn't the real problem but my eating disorder was.Now they have decided they may be able to help me,and my support team and my husband have talked me into going.My doctor said it is a great opp and I should grab it.I am aware that I'm lucky to be offered one to one and I don't want to seem ungrateful but at the same time I don't want to deal with this as I'm not thin and I don't think I'm sick.
I'm petrified as I feel v exposed.My family support worker (I'm a mummy with fibromyalgia)is meant to be coming with me (I think so she can push me through the door!lol).She said she would ring to let me know if we should meet there or if she would pick me up beforehand.I rang this afternoon to check and got told that she'd left early (I think it was family related).So I left a message and hopefully she will call tomorrow.The thing is I was already iffy and trying to think of a way out of it without upsetting or offending everyone,now I don't know what the plan is I'm even more worried.

[JEANNE]

Oh good luck and best wishes!!!! If nothing else, maybe those kiddos of yours can be a motivating factor to push through the fear and anxiety and JUST DO IT! Like your doc said, take the opportuintiy and do the best you can. Ed willl forever tell you that you are not thin enough (despite any weight loss or gain or maintain) and also will tell you that you arent really sick enough. However you are both: thin enough and sick enough. Just go, please and go with an open mind. It just may be the turning point that you seek. Truly, good luck!!!!

[Twinkles]

Thank you Jeanne,your posts are always spot on and so motivating and uplifting.I think I will be chanting 'think of the girls,think of the girls' to get myself into the building!God I'm so nervous!Less than 2 hours to go.I feel terrible actually,I've been up since 4am with the little uns (feels like I'm on a endurance test!lol)and I haven't eaten for 37 hours so combined with chronic fatigue I feel a bit like poo.Ha ha.

[JEANNE]

Ahhh sorry I missed you before you left, but yes "think of the girls", walk inside the door and listen to what is said.... you can do it. I know you can. Best of luck, you have alot of support and caring friends and family behind you. It may be time that some attention and halthy good care goes to you, too. Lack of sleep and nourishment is so hard on the body when you are trying to take care of a family. I hope this meeting will lead to something good for you: someone to help you wade through the ed urges and learn to put yourself in that "to care for" agenda. anyway, thanks for your kind response, never know if I'm preachy or helpful when my aim is of course to be supportive! be well, take care xxoo Jeanne
k

[mel_92]

Hope it went ok :) You're doing the right thing! xxx