Going insane

[zci]

help!! all I have done this week is Bp maaajor!! work is low, summer...so I could go home in the afternoons...I friggin ate junk food all the time and purged, went to the gym everyday for at least two hours...I cannot handle this!! and worst is that my family wants to send me home to Switzerland, bc I am alone here...I love Chicago, I do not know if I really want to leave...help!!! I feel like I am hitting an edge...I know home is always safehaven, but, I dont know, just help!! I feel soooo low, I am trying to get better, but the more I try, the more I seem to fail...aaaaaa:confused:

[blah]

i know how you feel zci..
after the seizures and losing my licence (they take it away for a while when you have one) and some other things, i might have to go live with my parents for a while in a different state. i feel like it would be a relief money wise etc..but i love where i live now/my new friends/school and basically am freaking out about what i should do. i hope you feel better, i'm sorry for your horrible week. i have gained a lot since the hospital thing and it is the worst feeling ever. i'm always here if you need to talk, i'll try my best to get back to you.

[blah]

recovery is possible zci, and i feel like you are someone who will!
just keep trying, it isn't easy and it might be a while but one day you will be over your ED

[zci]

I know I also posted on your profile, but I still have more thoughts... lol...I just am overwhelmed. I feel that I want to move on but body and mind do not correspond...I have this thought of recovery, have it all figured out in my mind, but still, I feel like crap...why? I feel as much as I want to let go of my ed, I still feel it is hard to get out of my comfort zone... in the group sessions I feel I am always an "input" but then my thoughts betray me when I am alone... it sucks...and I am so afraid... but, hey, what do all say...hang in there??!! yup, thats me :-)