Sosic.420
10-14-2010, 02:59 PM
I wrote this a few weeks ago and forgot i wrote it until i just came across it on my computer.
This is EXACTLY what i did the night i wrote this lol. so this is a true story, dun dun dun. I'm not very good at writing stories, grammatically and stuff. but i love writing to pass time anyways, but i have a tendency to never finish them lol. anyways here it is!
Its about time.
Its midnight and Ive been staring at the clock for the past 5 hours for everyone to go to bed, not hungry but the urge to binge stronger then ever, i get up and tip-toe my way to the kitchen silently grabbing anything that looks good. First opening the cabinets, then the fridge and freezer, and then finally grabbing all the left overs my family ate at dinner, i tip-toe my way back to the living room and sit myself down on the couch and set all the food right beside me. Peanut butter, Jelly, Donuts, French Fries, Bread, Butter, Cookies, Hamburgers, Ice Cream, Cereal, even my 80 year old grandmas pudding. I dig in until my stomach is so painfully full i can barely breath i sit back on the couch for only a minute to catch my breath i then stand up and throw up in a big mixing bowl, i throw up until there is nothing left to throw up. I start to feel depressed and out of control...and fat but then i continue to binge..and binge..and binge, until i am once again painfully full. I repeat this process until there is nothing left to binge on. I look up at the clock. 5am. I empty the mixing bowl in the basement toilet and wash it with dish soap and hot water and guiltily putting it back under the kitchen sink, i walk back to the living room and watch TV and search the internet for eating disorder videos on youtube. It feels good to know I'm not alone in what i do, I'm not crazy.
I starve all day and binge and purge all night.
Feeling disgusted and dirty i head up to my bedroom and try to sleep, but i cant. How can i sleep after what i just did? I took my last 20 laxatives a few nights ago. I'm exhausted but my mind is running like crazy. I cant sleep after that binge. I head back down the stairs and make myself a hot green tea, when i finish it i open my front door and start running up and down my street numerous times until i feel like i am about to pass out, i go back inside my house and go back to my room and clean it for some more exercise, i then make myself some zero calorie Slim Quick juice to boost my metabolism even more before bed, i do some sit-ups and leg exercises and lay in bed criticizing myself until i finally fall asleep at 7:30am.
Morning time, or should i say afternoon. I wake up and look at my cell phone to see the time 2pm. I drag my body to the bathroom avoiding any mirrors, to scared to see the consequences from last nights awful binge, wearing my 6’3” older brothers large pullover hoodie he gave me and Large sweatpants (Mens) i walk downstairs to the kitchen and make myself a hot green tea, and walk back to the living room where it all happend. I sit down on the couch and turn on the TV and open up my laptop. Home alone. My brother is at work, My mom is at work, and my dad is out probably grocery shopping until he picks my mom up from work at 3pm, its just me alone with myself as usual.
teeeheeeeeeeeee.
This is EXACTLY what i did the night i wrote this lol. so this is a true story, dun dun dun. I'm not very good at writing stories, grammatically and stuff. but i love writing to pass time anyways, but i have a tendency to never finish them lol. anyways here it is!
Its about time.
Its midnight and Ive been staring at the clock for the past 5 hours for everyone to go to bed, not hungry but the urge to binge stronger then ever, i get up and tip-toe my way to the kitchen silently grabbing anything that looks good. First opening the cabinets, then the fridge and freezer, and then finally grabbing all the left overs my family ate at dinner, i tip-toe my way back to the living room and sit myself down on the couch and set all the food right beside me. Peanut butter, Jelly, Donuts, French Fries, Bread, Butter, Cookies, Hamburgers, Ice Cream, Cereal, even my 80 year old grandmas pudding. I dig in until my stomach is so painfully full i can barely breath i sit back on the couch for only a minute to catch my breath i then stand up and throw up in a big mixing bowl, i throw up until there is nothing left to throw up. I start to feel depressed and out of control...and fat but then i continue to binge..and binge..and binge, until i am once again painfully full. I repeat this process until there is nothing left to binge on. I look up at the clock. 5am. I empty the mixing bowl in the basement toilet and wash it with dish soap and hot water and guiltily putting it back under the kitchen sink, i walk back to the living room and watch TV and search the internet for eating disorder videos on youtube. It feels good to know I'm not alone in what i do, I'm not crazy.
I starve all day and binge and purge all night.
Feeling disgusted and dirty i head up to my bedroom and try to sleep, but i cant. How can i sleep after what i just did? I took my last 20 laxatives a few nights ago. I'm exhausted but my mind is running like crazy. I cant sleep after that binge. I head back down the stairs and make myself a hot green tea, when i finish it i open my front door and start running up and down my street numerous times until i feel like i am about to pass out, i go back inside my house and go back to my room and clean it for some more exercise, i then make myself some zero calorie Slim Quick juice to boost my metabolism even more before bed, i do some sit-ups and leg exercises and lay in bed criticizing myself until i finally fall asleep at 7:30am.
Morning time, or should i say afternoon. I wake up and look at my cell phone to see the time 2pm. I drag my body to the bathroom avoiding any mirrors, to scared to see the consequences from last nights awful binge, wearing my 6’3” older brothers large pullover hoodie he gave me and Large sweatpants (Mens) i walk downstairs to the kitchen and make myself a hot green tea, and walk back to the living room where it all happend. I sit down on the couch and turn on the TV and open up my laptop. Home alone. My brother is at work, My mom is at work, and my dad is out probably grocery shopping until he picks my mom up from work at 3pm, its just me alone with myself as usual.
teeeheeeeeeeeee.