Any former addicts?

[Mr. Fiend]

Recently because of my unemployed status I have pretty much quit meth. Three months and I haven't smoked, snorted or swallowed it AT ALL.

Now I'm not saying I don't feel BETTER, it's just life is so BORING. I mean sure I don't experience the soul crushing lows or the three to four days of sleep....but I don't get the all awesome high's either.

While I still drink a lot and also take...erherm....'other' means of feeling good here and there, I was just wondering if there was anything I can do to help stop this ALL ENCOMPASSING FEELING OF MEDIOCRITY AND APATHY! I mean GOD, when I was tweaking ANYTHING could be interesting. Now all the stuff I used to do just feels like a waste of time/dull.

Anyone?

[something-blue]

You mean like something healthy to replace that feeling? I really dont think there is.

I just try to make it for as long as I can and then I let my ed/bi-polar/partying run wild for a little while, catch myself, rinse, repeat.

I hope that eventually I just get used to everyone being dull little wankers and everything going too slow and nothing being any fun. Not to be a downer or anything ;)

Then again, all thats still much better than withdrawing for me

[HoneyHeart]

I agree that substance wise i don't think there is much to compare that will make you feel like that again.

Unfortunately i think the only thing that will make you feel like giving a shit about life is you, and you need to be able to do that without drugs, by yourself. Only you can do that though. But i'm sure you already know that.

I really wish you the best of luck. I hope you are safe :)

[Mr. Fiend]

Got told some weird advice....

....how I felt on meth was amazing. I had this drive, this contentment, this AWESOME feeling through every cell in my body that made me think that everything in the universe was perfect and easy. That I was connected utterly and completely to others and myself. I didn't need sleep, or food, I could do anything and everything with boundless energy and enthusiasm.

This is called perfect happiness, although instead of 'earning it' I just artificially induced it. But the complicated part is that people spend their ENTIRE LIVES searching for that feeling, and very few obtain it. Even that small percentage that do, an even smaller amount experience it more then once or twice.

So is it so wrong if I can experience it almost anytime I want for the right price?

[something-blue]

I think thats a good point. Like majorly triggering good

Meth's never been my drug, but Ill just go ahead and say what I think anyways. Being high feels awesome, i mean no argument there, but not only do you get addicted to it and like die, but its just...not real.

And also this may be different for everybody or whatever, but when Im using it's either "high" or "wanting to be high feeling utterly shit". And those are the only two feelings you get. And if you dont use you dont get the kicks of it, but a whole range of human emotions isntead. You know, happy, sad, hungry, in love. And feeling close to people and having a chance to hold on to vestiges of dignity at any given time. And lots of really bad horrible things not happening to you.

Ok, this has kinda turned into a self-pep talk now sorry. I think my point was...its not worth it. And Ill just stick to that and go think healthy thought or something now.

[Mr. Fiend]

I used again.

God dammit thought it felt GOOOOOOOD. I was over the GOD DAMN MOON. I talked my ARSE off to all my friends and felt this amazing connection to everything around me. Me and this girl had sex for god damn HOURS that night and I've never felt anything so AMAZING. EVERYTHING in the universe was connected to me and I could feel all the energy and magic and wonder around me.

But now....

...well shit people. I didn't eat for two days afterwards, then got really sick. I started coughing up blood yesterday morning and somehow that triggered an eating binge.

12'000 calories and two days later I am bloated and feel like shit. I just had a break down over the phone with a girl. I'm tired and I'm alone and I hate myself.

Suicide seems promising.

[lovebexs]

STOP THAT
suicide DOES NOT seem promising!!! there's so many nice things in life you wouldn't get to do if you were dead. i wish i had the right words to make you feel better, but i'm really shit at these kind of things :[ killing yourself is never, ever the option though. i hope you're not seriously considering it. please take care of yourself and be safe. you can pm me anytime xx

[queenbee]

this is old but i'm a recovering heroin/oxy addict (:

[Sosic.420]

If you kill yourself i swear to jesus i will kill myself just so i can smack your ghost upside the head lol.

I hope your doing better with the meth and stuff. you don't need that crap man! obviously its not easy to stop..but its not impossible! and don't beat yourself up over the binge, you were doing SO good! so don't worry about the slip up!
you are definitely one of my favorite people that I've never met lol. but stay strong until we party in real life sometime you handsome man you! lol.