how many of you have had to digest a binge?

[lost]

how big was it?

Isn't it the worst feeling in the world? :(

[Wannabewaif]

Yes. I usually make sure to fast the next couple days and up my exercise...

[Veganelf]

Pretty much all of my binges because I have never been able to throw up.

I ate a whole bag of hershey's chocolates one time. That sucked. It was a few years ago so I don't really remember. I haven't binged really since I started back up again.

[lost]

Ah..mine have been so huge
the biggest was something like 6000 cals
and it was from like bread + cereal + i dont even know!!
i didnt think my stomach was that huge...
then waking up the next day omg :\
once i felt so bad i just didnt get out of bed for the whole day.

bad times :(

[nathrakh]

I think we all had one of those days we werent able to purge, or someone prevented us from purging a binge. I once had a huge 9k kcal binge and i purged so much the past few days back then i just couldnt get anything of it purged. I went to sleep very sad and angry praying i wouldnt gain too much weight from it. Next day i had a lot of energy tho :P. But the feeling of guilt :(

[KnuffleBunny]

The worst thing I remember ever having to digest after purging was 4 McDonalds quarter pounders, 2 large fries, and ice cream. I don't even want to remember what the calories on that was. After that I started limiting my binges unless I was absolutely positive I would be able to purge after.

[lost]

ive never been able to make myself vomit
i tried once and just got burst capilaries in my face..looked abit like i had freckles :)
so yeah most of the time im left digesting 4k/5k binges then not eating for a few days after that :(
so horrible
why cant i stop?

[nathrakh]

Maybe u are really depressed, and eating makes u feel comfortable. That probably triggers a lot of binges for me. Just had a mini binge :( 1,5k kcals. Gonna try purge as much as possible of it, im trying to quit but its not easy. Id rather purge then become fattie again.

Bah everything was going so well, first binge/purge in like 8 days :P. Its always the free days wich trigger it, when im home, surrounded by ppl i dislike. Nowhere to go, nothing to do but watch the clock and wait for the day to pass by. But my boss is giving me like a free day once per week. Because i never take holidays. Holiday = non stop craving. I dont want holidays. But free hours build up and all.

[nathrakh]

and it gets worse, for some reason i just cant seem to purge AGAIN. Im trowing up bits of blood, and slime. But it just wont come up. After the 1,5k, i decided. if were gonna purge, might aswell binge some more, since things are going to hell anyways. So ate some of the things i dreamt of eating for months but never dared to, like cake and all. Total amount of kcals today 4000. Ow well, feel really sad and crap now. Atleast its a small relief, that in theory only 2000 of those kcals will be turned to fat. Since my body uses the other for fuel. Since i cant purge. Tommorow starv, sat starv, sunday starv, monday starv. GRRRRR I hate myself so much. I really hope one of these purges is going to kill me so im free.

atleast it tasted nice.............., and i had a few minutes of joy.

[lost]

I hate myself so much. I really hope one of these purges is going to kill me so im free.

Please dont talk like that :( its so sad that binging makes us feel suicidal, but have hope please, we can get through this and we will
..i put on like 10pounds in one month from binging and not having the motivation/energy to starve the next day
i dont know what to do!!



atleast it tasted nice.............., and i had a few minutes of joy.

^^ that made me LOL :) xxx

Be strong, what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger (so hard to believe right now, but its true!)

[katiescarlett]

I went to a wedding last weekend, oh my goodness there was so much lovely food, and I was confident I could just purge later, so I really went for it. Smoked salmon, Parma ham, eggs with caviar, seedy bread, five different flavours of cheesecake, lots of beer and champagne...

Of course, I got back to my hotel room and couldn't get up anything. Maybe I left it too late, maybe it was because a lot of it was soft foods that move on into your digestive system really quick, I don't know.

My boyfriend knows about my bulimia but I still feel selfconscious about it. When I came out of the bathroom he asked if I was OK. I said disgustedly "I ate too much" and got into bed, facing away from him because I was crying. He said "Come on, it's a wedding, everyone overindulges".

He'd missed the point by so far that it upset me even more - unfairly, I know: he was only trying to cheer me up. But I felt much worse for having failed to throw up than I did for pigging out on all the food :(

[pitypeace]

um Id say... uh 3-4 chocolate icecream, marshmellows,2 cups of low fat hot chocolate and carmel squares.. and cooffee

Its weird, why does ur body do that? I think every bulimic goes threw it thats why over xsirsize is on the analize list!!:o

[katiescarlett]

Ugh why do I never learn that the more often I purge, the less my gag reflex works? I've b/p'd every day this week and now I just can't do it any more. I had to eat cake for someone's birthday at work, and thought 'Well I've started now, I may as well make it a binge' so I went out and bought more cake to binge on.

I tried everything - drinking water with baking soda, jumping up and down, kneeling on the edge of the bath so that I was so upside-down I was in danger of falling into the toilet - but I couldn't get up the cake. I was getting so frustrated, crying, contorting my body into all sorts of positions, jabbing so far down my throat that I now have lacerations in my gums from pulling them against my teeth.

You look at yourself like that and you have to think 'WTF has become of me' :(

[PSALM]

YES! I recently went to stay with my boyfriend at his beach house for the night, I was pretty set in my mind that I just wasn't going to eat anything while I was there so I didn't have to purge. But then he suggested we make some really amazing homemade pizzas for dinner (It would have been weird for me to say no) so I thought ok I could handle a slice and said yes. So we got all the ingredients then he suggested we get fish and chips to snack on before dinner while we watch a movie, I thought ok sweet, i will have a couple of chips.... HELL NO, we ended up with a 25 dollar bag of fish n chips which i couldn't get enough of! I just couldn't stop eating them and there was no way in hell i was going to be able to purge, but I had already started and couldn't stop (completely lost control).... then half an hour later I started to make the pizzas and ate about 5 slices ! You should have seen the look on my bfs face watching me eat all this food... priceless! I woke up the next day so depressed, My bf thought my dog had died or something... So he offered me left over pizza to cheer me up... haha I wanted to cry, i fasted for the day and the second he dropped me home I went to the gym for 2 hours. haha now i just think its kinda funny.