I love my eating disorder

[twicethetaste]

Most people are saying that eating disorders are so bad, and bla bla you know, you've all heard it.
But i've never heard one person say that they are happy with their eating disorder.
Is anyone actually happy with their disorder?
I am, it gives me something to focus on, and it makes me even more happy knowing that I'm finally going to look like i've always wanted to.
I feel like i have control over myself. It's an extremely amazing feeling for me.

Thoughts?

[katiescarlett]

I am happy with my ED when it's under control and working well without making me feel like I am ruining my health. I am currently at the weight I want to be, and I think it's fine to use vomiting to remedy occasional overeating and keep my weight at this level. I know bingeing and purging isn't 'mentally healthy' but as long as I do it rarely, and with foods that come up easily so I'm not hurting my body too much, I don't have a problem with that either.

But when it begins to go too far and I find myself getting crazily upset when purging doesn't work, or my teeth are hurting from the acid, or I feel like I'm getting 'addicted' to b/p'ing because the urge to do it is getting stronger and more frequent - then I don't feel happy about my ED.

[funtimesinto]

hey,

I think you guys should rethink how you feel about your ED, I mean we all have one, but I don't think it's a good thing to like it. I mean if you like it thats just another issue to deal with.
At least thats what I think.
If you guys wanna chat to me send me a msg, I have a degree in psycology and will give the best advice I can :)

[Wannabewaif]

Most people are saying that eating disorders are so bad, and bla bla you know, you've all heard it.
But i've never heard one person say that they are happy with their eating disorder.
Is anyone actually happy with their disorder?
I am, it gives me something to focus on, and it makes me even more happy knowing that I'm finally going to look like i've always wanted to.
I feel like i have control over myself. It's an extremely amazing feeling for me.

Thoughts?

I used to feel that way, until I realized that I'm NOT in control, the anorexia is... When I can't even eat an apple without crying because of the calories, or can't go a day without feeling like I need to exercise til I can't move, that means I'm no longer in control.
I hate all the lying I've had and have to do...
I hate that I can't go out with my friends, or hang out with coworkers because I don't know what they'll expect of me in terms of food... I hate that I can't celebrate birthdays with my friends/family without feeling awkward... Yes, I do still have a sense of power knowing that I can resist food while others are giving in, but overall, I hate it and I wish it didn't consume my every thought.

[dragonfly]

I'm not happy with my eating disorder, though I feel a lot better than before it started and was miserable when i went a week trying not to purge or restrict. So i don't know, maybe a feel happier with it, but not happy. Though i do also feel really disgusted with myself for always binging/purging.

I know its not good to like an ED, but i'm not sure hating it is any better. If we just have another thing to hate about ourselves, i don't think that is particularly useful for trying to recover. My thoughts anyway

[anonomousmia]

its really amazing how people seem to come out with things that other people are thinking. I find it comforting to know others are going through similar things.

I am exactly the same as a couple of the posts above. I like the fact I can purge if i occasionally over eat a little, or whatever. But I HATE if I binge uncontrollably, and then purge more than once a day (like today, 3 times!)! Which is what seems to happen most days!

I have come to realise that I don't want this anymore and I'm tired of scoffing down food when know one is watching, tired of looking in the mirror all puffy eyed and red faced, tired of eating stupid amounts and ramming my fingers down my throat every time I sneak off to the toilet. I just can't seem to stop myself. . .which is super frustrating!!!!

[zci]

I feel the same, I hate that I am so obsessed with food and what others eat, what I don't eat and later binge and purge in secret at home, I hate that I stand in the grocery store, see cake and get shaky hands, and tears in my eyes...but going without is soo hard to imagine, it is just so normal to me to purge, I feel in control, and for about ten minutes after I actually feel happy, successful, relieved, and then I start to feel very guilty and weak and I hate that I get all light headed, cold, depressed, I hate that I sometimes cut because I get so upset, and then have to wear longsleeves for at least a week. On monday my IOP starts, and I am very scared of giving up my routines, it is sooo confusing... Someone here said "my ed, my frenemy" and is exactly that, a love/hate relationship. I just want to be happy again, laugh more, be the happy person I used to be a long time ago...

[amywarren]

I like it but I'm feeling like crap right now because of it. (hunger pangs that hurt like hell)

[james1]

HI,

If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder, there are many people and treatment centers available who want to help.




Thank you....

[gymnast100]

I like it when I am in control, I like knowing that I am going to be beautiful one day but when I am out of control I hate it.

Its a love/hate relationship:confused:

[fox]

Like you, I like being in control.
However, each purge sends acid burning through your system, throat, mouth, teeth. Each binge stretches the capacity of your stomach/ stomach lining.
Have you read "Wintergirls"?

[giftedheart]

I used to feel that way, until I realized that I'm NOT in control, the anorexia is... When I can't even eat an apple without crying because of the calories, or can't go a day without feeling like I need to exercise til I can't move, that means I'm no longer in control.
I hate all the lying I've had and have to do...
I hate that I can't go out with my friends, or hang out with coworkers because I don't know what they'll expect of me in terms of food... I hate that I can't celebrate birthdays with my friends/family without feeling awkward... Yes, I do still have a sense of power knowing that I can resist food while others are giving in, but overall, I hate it and I wish it didn't consume my every thought.

I've only had Ed for one month and it already feels like it has consumed me. I hate the fact that it took over so quickly.:mad:

[Starving-Beauty]

well i kind of love it & hate it.

like i love the fact i can eat whatever i please and not have to wory about gaining weight.
-i like how my friends have to keep the calories down while i dont.
-and i like how doing this means ill never get fat

but i hate how its making me binge for no reason and i hate how i just cant eat like a normal person.
i hate how i got no controll over food what so ever.
i hate trying to hide it from everyone.

so its pretty even fair enough to say a love/hate relationship here.

[Sapphire]

some days i hate my ED and other days i could care less and its just a part of my life.

restricting/binging/purging it keeps me losing weight for the most part.

the way i feel about myself i absolutely hate and the way i feel about food too.

[Vision Thing]

The way I see it, although any issues I have with eating food isn't really to be admired, I'd rather have that than be fat.

[Diet Pepsi]

I LOVE my mia! I cannot picture myself without it. It'd be like having my best friend yanked away from me. I don't think I could ever be happy if I wasn't bulimic

[keni:)]

I love my eating disorder when Im in the middle of a binge/purge, or when i see myself in the mirror and don't feel as disgusted as I used to, or when I see the number on the scale go down.

But right when I go around my family and friends and I have to lie or miss out on celebrations because of it, I start to freak out.
I suppose its a give and take. Since Im alone alot of the time, I guess I like it more then I don't like it.

[purity12lover]

With the economy right now, good, healthy, and affordable weight-loss products are a rare treat. Luckily, as I was web surfing for good finds, as this is my daily routine, I found Purity 12’s website. Being a good shopper that I am, I looked at some of their products, and I was just blown away. Why it is that no one recognizes Purity 12’s products when they’re really great? I just don’t really get it! Their products should be out in the market like wildfire! I really suggest that you try it now because you really won’t regret it. To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 1 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[thinkingaloud]

Have you read "Wintergirls"?

Iv read it, loved it. I found it quite emotional though, especcially as its usually anorexics you hear of dying.

As for my ED, its definately a love/hate relationship. I guess i used to like it, it gave me all the compliments about how great i looked while being able to eat whatever i liked. But i never intended it to go on so long. Now, i hate it. Its like a parasite thats taken over every part of me. But i cant let go of it, cos then i feel like id be nothing. I really want to be healthy again, but unfortunately i like being thin too much :(