body checking

[billy]

I'm not sure if this is really the right place or if it'll get many views since it isn't one of the popular boards but it fits in here. We all have a distorted body image, which I think counts as a kind of BBD. I've been body checking (squeezing body parts to feel the fat, looking in the mirror, etc) all the time lately. It's actually gotten annoying! Plus, I know it looks odd. Anyone else deal with this? How do you stop yourself? It just gets really bad because I loathe going out in public, I feel like everyone is staring at me, thinking I'm a huge, disgusting whale! Body checking just intensifies that fear because I'm always upset by what I see/feel...

[something-blue]

I do this a little bit, but I dont think as badly as you. Im usually fine looking at myself in the mirror, like I dont get a distorted image then, but as soon as I dont see myself I have no clue what my proportions actually are.
I cant even compare myself to other people because on the same day I can go "I think Im about as big as her" about people that are a good 120lb apart.

But it only ever gets embarrassing/notable in public when I have to manouevre around tight spaces and start either knocking things over or constantly having my hand on my bum because I dont know where it ends otherwise.

I used to feel up bits of me all the time, especially when I had nothing else to do or got nervous. Now I do stuff with my hands instead (like play with my fingers, see how far back I can get them, make fists, bite my nails). Its not really any less socially awkward, but its a little more common so now people just think im really fidgety and nervous instead of really weird.

As for the feeling bad in public, my therapist says only a healthy body image and confidence can help there...i didnt find that very helpful myself, but yeah.

*hugs*

[greentea]

lately i haven't been body chekcing as much like the pinching thing, but i really do tend to do that..
I've gained the habit to wear loose clothes, with abit of cleavage usually, to distract the eyeez
(big boobs).

but i dunno maybe the loose clothes?
layers i find help too. :)

PS: lately i've been bititng my lip it's the weirdest habit ever and i hate it but i do it subconciously, therefore i guess i have switched habits a bit lately :(!!.

good lcuk.

[elyse]

Oh my god I'm the WORST about doing that in public -- like kinda touching or squeezing the bit of skin over my ribs... it's so specific and it's such a nervous habit. It doesn't even feel like body checking, just more... checking that I really still exist and have not died and left my body and gone to an anxiety-ridden hell. Yep, ribs still have skin on them, I'm still here. Like I really want everyone around me to see me with a handful of fat all the time. Nice.

Now I'm going to start bending my fingers backwards. :D

[nathrakh]

I feel exactly the same. Im always body checking aswell. And feel like everyone is looking at me thinking im fat. The only times i feel a bit better i when i have lost some weight that week.

[AnnDeSade]

I do the same thing, and I feel EXACTLY the same when it comes to going out, even though most of my friends are actually BIGGER then me, I see them as cute and I see they know how to dress their bodies, whereas me, I can't bring myself to go shopping cause I KNOW I won't look good in anything... I always measure my wrists, waist, thighs, see if my ribs/collarbones are showing....
I'll go crazy from it one day..

[Twinkles]

I do this all the time!Considering how much I hate the mirror I spend a lot of time staring at my reflection and pinching and squeezing fat.I have noticed that I do it in public now too,I must look crackers!lol.I'm obsessed with a bit of skin just above my hips,caused by 2 pregnancies-HATE IT!!
Also I chew my little finger.Not suck it but bite it when I'm nervous or upset.

[failure2win]

I wear semi-loose shirts so they bunch sometimes and i am constantly seeing if it is my stomach or just the shirt. unfortunately its usually my stomach. (hate recovery)

[Boney M]

I can kind of relate to this, although it's not weight related, just a general 'how i look' problem. About 3 months ago, I was on holiday, in my hotel room (on my own, abroad for the first time in 17 years!) and i actually thought that i didn't look too bad in the mirror. So, i decided to take a picture of myself, as a possible reminder if i ever needed it. What i saw on the camera screen was actually quite an awful picture, and i realised i did not look good. This put me on a serious downer for about 2 days. I was still able to go out, but felt dreadful, and wished i'd never taken the photo. The difference between the mirror image and camera shot really amazed me.

[HollowedShame]

I've gotten a handle on doing it in public, though it still happens sometimes. When I'm by myself though, I'm always pinching my rolls and checking if they've grown or shrunk. I can never tell, they always seem about the same. Sometimes I look down at my gut or my thighs after a binge and I swear I can see them growing and oozing outwards. It's disgusting, but it obviously can't be what's actually there. Doesn't stop me from trippin' balls though!

The above post hits me in a way. There have been times when I have done the very same. Looked in the mirror, and actually felt at peace with what I saw. Unfortunately, the pictures I've taken always make me look about 15-20lbs heavier. It's awful. Whenever someone takes a picture of me- especially if they're all like 'OMG! This is a great picture of you!'- what little self esteem I had that day is gone when I see it.

[billy]

Ah, yes, pictures....I remember numerous times (mostly high school dances) where I cried because I thought I looked horrible and then calmed down and decided I didn't look too bad. Then I look back at pictures and my original conclusion was correct. :(

[ixrockxconverse]

Oh yes. I do this all the time. I'm always looking at myself during class and instead of taking notes I make up workout regiments for myself. And I do that picture thing too... I used to love pictures of myself but now I hate them, especially full body ones. I don't mind ones that are just my face quite as much.

[neokara]

I do this :\ Except my friends know exactly what I'm doing and yell at me and say I'm not fat -.-