Always: Confused, Mixed Emotions, Upset

[philsen]

Ok so i'm not sure where i'm going with this, i guess im seeing if anyone else is liek this or if i'm weird/ over reacting and it might just be in my head :s

But I always feel confused, upset/ depressed and always have mixed emotions

Its like one bug tangled mess and then thing is I feel like im living a lie... I try to hide it so well... I'm not sure whats going on in my head and I don't know if its ED related (i wasn't like this before it) and Its only been recently that I have started to become aware of it...

does anyone else feel like this... kind off an abyss of emotions, thoughts and negativity...?

I have no idea where to turn to and refuse to see a shrink cause they bug me etc... so i can't diagnose myself, but i might have a complex?

thoughts/ opinions?

[elyse]

God yes, I feel like that all the time -- mixed emotions. There are stretches of time where if I'm not focused on feeling anything else, I feel depressed (sometimes acutely and painfully, sometimes just an unfocused sad). Then I wonder if I'm just doing that to myself... Things are fine, I'm looking for trouble. So I feel guilty. Because I can be happy and laugh other times, so I feel all jumbled inside... I don't know that it's my ed for me, I think I'm just messed up. I think the ed is just another layer. But i think a lot of people probably feel this way a bit, don't know how to turn the negativity off -- it might be your ed, bc we focus so much on our own flaws it changes your perception of life. Hopefully you feel better soon... :(

[philsen]

i get what you mean Elyse, what you wrote sort of narrows it down a bit more... but its like a constant feeling, but i've read that having an ED can bring on these things... i was NEVER like this... the personal (mental/emotional etc) changes I have gone through since having an ED seem like a huge difference to my former self, but maybe im exaggerating? (see the constant questioning!)