You Know You're a Self-Injurer When... [Archive]

want2beamodel

08-25-2010, 06:05 AM

When you keep your knife in your make up bag so you can say it's to sharpen your eyeliner (though I haven't worn pencil eyeliner in 3 years)
When you're so embarassed to buy a knife that you walk around Wilkinson's buying the most random crap so it's less conspicuous (mixing bowl, sponge and spatula? Why not?)
You've perfected the art of hiding your cuts so well that you don't even need to wear long sleeves anymore
...and then, 4 years after having a regular habit, you still turn your arms inwards whenever you reach out for something.
You develop your own internal language for cutting
You create art using the blood (REALLY hope that's not just me!)
You use piercing as a form of "socially acceptable" self harm
You have a hightened awareness of other peoples' self harm
You can interpret any song/artwork/literary text to be about self harm

Omgg! this sounds like me sooo much!!!!
Except i dont buy knives, just a lot of sharpners.
Especially the last 5 are exactly what i doo! :O
x

Wannabe Beauty

08-25-2010, 06:27 AM

When you have a mini heart attack when someone suggests buying a t-shirt. xD It happened.
When you say you have bug bites so you have an excuse to itch the scabs. >.<
When you want to kick yourself in the face for cutting in a stupid place. :P
When you hate going to the beach/swimming. (I love swimming aswell D:)
When you take pictures of it to prove to yourself you did it and don't need to punish yourself more? Others do this..? xD
When you panic that someone may find these pictures. :P
When you think cuts are nice, and you need to see blood so you've 'done it properly'. o.O
When you've purposely bought make up to cover scars. (I have a bag of 'cover up' make up. xD)

Hope no one is triggered dudes. D:
As you can see, the amount of silly things we do to hide it/cover up makes it a silly thing to do.
Don't self harm kids. :P

wen na ithil

08-25-2010, 08:13 AM

.. when random people in school come up to you and ask you how to hide scars, or where to buy blades (people who don't KNOW you cut)
.. when you cut yourself in public.. and no one notices.
.. when your teacher asks you to talk to an audience about the effects of SI.. because she knows your friends cut..

my goodness, reading what i just wrote i realize that either the world around me is extremely unobservant or i'm a bloody brilliant actress! (excuse the pun)

UsedRomance

08-25-2010, 09:18 AM

When you take pictures of it to prove to yourself you did it and don't need to punish yourself more? Others do this..? xD

I do this. But I do it because...

When you think cuts are nice

I like the way my cuts look. Sorry if that offends anyone but it's just the way I feel. Of course, I only like them for me to see- it's not like I show them off!

Also this:
when you cut yourself in public.. and no one notices.

Reminds me that I once cut myself on a rush hour train. Coming out of London. Not in a toilet or anything but right there in my seat. I'd completely forgotten about that! I'd was really beating myself up about something I'd done that weekend and I just didn't care. I don't think anyone noticed though.

no-one

08-25-2010, 10:06 AM

When you panic when you drop your phone because there's a razor hid under the battery!

WyndChilde

08-25-2010, 10:13 AM

You create art using the blood (REALLY hope that's not just me!)

No i just stared doing that a couple weeks ago. It's addicting, but it's beautiful!

I've taken photos but I'm scared someone will see them... I hide them in a gmail account....

Fake

08-26-2010, 01:05 PM

You have several places for hiding blades.
You know the efficient-ness of different tools.
You can remove the blade form a razor in under a minute.
You have a "favourite" cut or scar.
You've tried other methods of SI other than the usual, and now have a mental scale for how depressed you are versus how you should hurt yourself.
Blood used to make you sick, but now you could happily watch someone be dismboweled and not think "ew" in the slightest.

Uh... that's all so far. I can totally relate to all the others!
Fake <3

UsedRomance

08-27-2010, 03:27 AM

You will sometimes just look at your scars and/or stroke them
You know the exact kind of lighting that shows your scars most

OzJenj

09-01-2010, 07:34 AM

When you know several techniques for getting razors out of shavers.
When you have a hidden box filled with razors that's in a hidden container in a hidden bag under your bed.
When you can tell which kind of shavers have a sharper blade.
When you're paranoid for hours after you do it thinking someone will know.

Fake

09-01-2010, 05:25 PM

When you can tell the age of a cut (your own or someone elses) by looking at it.

sadgirlsmiling

09-02-2010, 06:57 PM

When you give someone advice about what sterile pads and medical tape to use on a wound. (DH never thought I'd be so useful. :P )
When you choose blankets and furniture in dark colors so the blood won't show. (Mine are black.)
When you have a "cutting kit": blade, first-aid stuff, favorite "cut time" clothes, etc...
When you have a code word for people in the know. (DH sometimes asks if I fell over a canoe. If I've cut, I say yes. Communication is essential AND funny!)

;)

locknessmonster

09-03-2010, 09:20 AM

when most of ur clothes have marks of brown on them from old blood that cant get off in the wash.
when you start to have semi panic attacks if people are around and your trying to cut or if your someone in your family is in the bathroom and you need to get in ASAP.
when random people on the street will come up to you and look at your arms and say...wow you look like a cutter, lol. (umm duche bag...its not funny)
but what the funny thing is...is that i dont cut on my wrists or arms...i work with animals and all the scars there, are from them! lol
surprisingly...thats true! :P lmao

OzJenj

09-03-2010, 02:10 PM

When you use period pads to stop the blood. I hope I'm not the only one that does this. >.<

UsedRomance

09-06-2010, 07:58 AM

When you have a code word for people in the know. (DH sometimes asks if I fell over a canoe. If I've cut, I say yes. Communication is essential AND funny!)

My best friend used to cut too and we would call it "thinking" or we would have a code signal which was waggling our finger. I'm not sure how it started but it would be something like "Have you been thinking lately?" accompanied by a waggly finger.

PeanutButterPrincess

09-06-2010, 01:13 PM

When you use period pads to stop the blood. I hope I'm not the only one that does this. >.<

Haha, you're not the only one.
I had a really bad cut last week that wouldn't stop bleeding and I'd used up all the toilet roll trying to get it to stop and all the plasters were in the other bathroom. My mum started walking up the stairs so I stuck a sanitary towel to my leg and ran out, hoping she wouldn't notice xD

Example

09-06-2010, 05:35 PM

When you wear long sleeves even in the boiling hot weather during the summer.

MustBeThin

09-06-2010, 05:47 PM

When....
-You turn beet red whenever someone makes a joke about SI/emo kids
-You skip class to cut
-You use your blood as art (don't worry, I do that too UsedRomance!)
-You buy coverup and don't use it on your face
-You wear rubber bands to snap for an 'instant fix'
-You use salt and ice for other reasons...
-You wear rings that you can press against your skin until you bleed
-You make ridiculous lies about your scars
-You cry over a dull blade

UsedRomance

09-07-2010, 06:06 AM

-You cry over a dull blade

The amount of times I have done this!

WyndChilde

09-07-2010, 10:41 PM

New lows today..... very low.

~You decide to cut naked because your roommate spotted blood on your clothes the other day
~You rise off the two disinfecting cloth wipes you used to clean the blood off your hands, in the toilet because they are covered in blood and would look suspicious in the trash, but are too big to flush.
~Before you throw said rinsed wipes away, you wipe your hands with the dripping rags to get the last of the dried stuff off.
~You flush even though no one was home because the basin was filled with full of bloody water.

popfaith

09-09-2010, 03:18 PM

When the 'smilies' from lighters actually make you smile.
When you have a extensive list of sarcastic responses when someone asks about your scars. ("I feel into a blender when I was a child. Tragic story.")
When you have 3+ objects to self-harm with on you at any given time.

UsedRomance

09-10-2010, 07:51 AM

("I feel into a blender when I was a child. Tragic story.")

I absolutely love this! I'm using that!

~butterfly~

09-10-2010, 11:28 PM

When you take pictures of it to prove to yourself you did it and don't need to punish yourself more? Others do this..? xD
When you panic that someone may find these pictures. :P

I actually did this with one of my most on the spot cuts ever (the one that got me found out). I had a heart attack every time someone touched my phone/camera.
I wish I had read this thread earlier,it's really true...glad to know I'm not the only one who does some of this.

wen na ithil

09-14-2010, 11:05 PM

i just had a new rad experience:

i dared myself to cut myself in the car with 4 (!) other people..
and i pulled it off!

how sick am I?!

DarkOnTheBrightside

09-19-2010, 02:28 PM

You create art using the blood (REALLY hope that's not just me!)

don't worry, it's not just you. i do this too, like writing words on my arms with the cuts themselves. i usually write things along the lines of "alone" or "deprived".

be_noticed

10-08-2010, 08:35 AM

when you try to hide your scars and dont want anyone to stop your habbits.

yourwintergirl

10-11-2010, 08:58 PM

You know which of the blades you have hurts the most, cuts the deepest, etc..
your toilet gets clogged from the bloody toilet paper
you have to buy a zillion boxes of bandages every week
you have a heart attack when you can't remember where you hid your 'tools'/ think you lost them

that's all i can think of, atm.

Empty

10-16-2010, 08:38 AM

When you find yourself creating the excuse even before you cut so the injury can match the story.

When you've worked out what methods cause the maximum pain and minimum scaring.

When you spend more on bandages than you do on food.

When you find yourself wondering what other people do to deal with their emotions.

When you know that given enough perseverance any object can be used for self harm.

BarelyThere

10-25-2010, 05:34 PM

You have to leave your biology class when they're dissecting things, but not because blood makes you faint, because seeing the blood makes urges.
You freak everytime anyone looks at the area you cut.
You can't watch people eing cut or getting cut on TV without freaking.

helplesslyhoping

10-26-2010, 06:18 AM

You get in the shower/bath and your skin stings

requiem4unicorn

10-27-2010, 03:06 AM

You already promised yourself you would never let it get this bad again. But you must. And worse.
You wish the dizzyness would go away so you could cut more. deeper. now
Even when you're completely drunk, and letting some idiot take you home, you remember to let him know: lights OFF and if you mention the scars it's INSTANTLY over.

yourwintergirl

10-30-2010, 12:56 PM

When you reach for something on a high shelf for your grandmother who is in a wheelchair right next to you and your shirt goes up a bit and she sees the bandaids on your hip and when she asks you how that happened, you hurry to nervously say that you got scratched by a table. xD
When you swear to yourself in realizing that you have run out of bandaids, so you find some cotton balls and tape them to your cut xD

Cara

11-01-2010, 11:54 PM

When you wear a tank top beneath your clothes - securely safety-pinned to your underwear - so that there's no way anyone can see the cuts/scars on your stomach if your shirt rides up. (Does any one else do this? I've found it really useful in sports)

When you read a book and wonder how the HECK the character got through all that without cutting. (When I read the 5 Harry Potter book I re-read the last few chapters twice looking for JK's hint - how did he get through all that without a blade?! Jk never really explained that part. I still don't understand)

When you dread the mental illness unit in Health/Psychology because whenever self-harm is mentioned, you're terrified your friends might finally on.

When you take over the chore of doing the laundry so no one finds anything (blood, tools in a pocket, bandaids, etc)

When you're so embarassed to buy a knife that you walk around Wilkinson's buying the most random crap so it's less conspicuous (mixing bowl, sponge and spatula? Why not?)

That is me with bandaids! I buy apples and shampoo and a whole handful of sh!t just to get the nerve to actually hand over the boxes of wound-care stuff at the counter!

When you're so paranoid of someone finding out that you even use code words for cutting when you write in your journal.

When you wonder how you can get your hands on one of those big double sided razors that the cliche cutters use (are they guys razors or something? I've never seen them in a store…)

UsedRomance

11-02-2010, 10:23 AM

When you wonder how you can get your hands on one of those big double sided razors that the cliche cutters use (are they guys razors or something? I've never seen them in a store…)

I desperately wanted to get hold of some when I was younger.

- When you wake up in the morning with no recollection of the night before and see lines of blood on the sheets, you assume you must have cut. (I hadn't in the end- Turns out I'd got a bit carried away with my fiance-ahem- and scratched him quite badly).

awkwardlyauthentic

11-02-2010, 10:56 AM

... I just want to comment and say... Others love how their cuts look too!!? I'm not alone and crazy with loving how the scars and cuts look

wingspan

11-02-2010, 07:06 PM

I'm scared to say this.. and I promise you 100% I don't have some kind of weird love of vampires or something.

But when you literally lick your own wounds...

iliketurtles

11-03-2010, 01:40 PM

I licked my wounds too! Good thread. When you look at the length of sleeves on dresses before the colour, price or style, out of habit

FatalVodka

11-04-2010, 04:25 PM

When you do not know if it is more triggering to have to try on a shirt it a size bigger or when your family/friends are persistent on you trying on that short sleeve shirt.... you suddenly develop a hatred of a certain color, style, etc....Oh the many personality changes.

You have told a stranger you were feeding bears and were prepared to tell him you also had sex with a porcupine. The rude ones deserve those type of answers.

wingspan

11-07-2010, 09:43 PM

Haha I'm doing this right now and wanted to post. You're nonchalantly taking out the razors out of leg shavers... with your roommate in the room. You don't give a damn what people think anymore.

vphoenix

11-08-2010, 10:53 AM

I like the way my cuts look. Sorry if that offends anyone but it's just the way I feel. Of course, I only like them for me to see- it's not like I show them off

That makes total sense to me tbh. I used to burn myself and I loved looking at them in the mirror, especially when they were fresh or newly scabbed-over. I haven't done it in a long time but even now I rub the scar tissue when I get stressed sometimes. It's kinda strange.

vixie

11-08-2010, 08:15 PM

When you have a razor in your pocket and are cutting yourself through your pocket, on the bus.
when you count how many new cuts you have and its over 20...
Whenever you take a shower you make sure you bring your razor with you.....

WyndChilde

11-08-2010, 08:51 PM

You have developed a horrible "nose bleed" habit when other notice flecks of blood on your clothing.
When you have thrown all your razors away, you break glass ten minutes later.
When working with x-acto knives for project purposes and you become frustrated, you take a quick cut, wipe off the blade, and get back to work, without ever standing up. You can use that double sided tape to cover the wound and keep your sleeve over the spot.
You know what the different layers of skin look like cause you've counted them.

wingspan

11-09-2010, 09:30 AM

Whenever you take a shower you make sure you bring your razor with you.....

Haha I do this too! :P

me-plainandsimple

11-09-2010, 09:46 AM

when you have shitloads of anti-septic wipes and sharp objects hidden under your bed

when you get paranoid everytime you change for PE

when you find a way to use anything to hurt yourself (ie buckle thingy on a watch, rulers etc)...

vixie

11-09-2010, 02:04 PM

Haha I do this too! :P
glad to know im not alone in this! well not in the way that you do it but, you know.

and is PE mandatory for you?
Also, Yeaa i do that too when i cant use my razor... i usually bite myself or cut of circulationn for awhileee

darkStar

11-09-2010, 03:51 PM

When most of the time the question "your bed or mine" is answered by you with "yours". Because your own bed has lines and stains on the sheets.
When you use the changing cubicle at the gym not only because you don't want others to see how fat your are.
When you're afraid to be drunk and alone in your room after a party. Cause you know this might lead to fatal things.

vixie

11-09-2010, 04:52 PM

No way out.

11-12-2010, 06:18 PM

When you carry a blade around with you
When you instantly feel good after you have cut
When you know the consequnces of cutting are scars, but still continue doing it anyway.
When you have a special spot to cut (or is that onlny me?)
The bathroom cubible you use in your school to cut
In the supermarket you tend to notice the razorsm plasters, bandages..
Don't change in front of people, incase they see your scars
Taking pictures of the scars, cause they give happiness too.
Cutting isn't cutting WITHOUT BLOOD!

Katerina

11-16-2010, 07:27 PM

When you have to hand over your already switched off phone in a lesson because the teacher yells at you for texting under the desk, when in actual fact you were cutting.
When you've invented a new kind of braces as an excuse for that time when someone spotted the blades hidden in your mouth whilst you talked... Don't know if it's just me who always has a blade of some sort in their mouth!
When you keep a box of pins in your bag for 'textiles'.
When you have a mini screw driver in your pencil case 'in case someones glasses break'... Not because it perfectly fits a pencil sharpener... Not at all...
When your imaginary cat is terrified of hairdryers... Attacks anyone near one thinking it's a snake, dontchya know...

Katerina
Xxx

fwyzing

11-16-2010, 08:41 PM

Hm. Love the thread

When you've written full diary entries with blood, or at least most of it

When you don't understand why your boyfriend even bothers freaking out when he sees new ones anymore

When working out is even more fun because as you run or lift you rip open the cuts again

When you've squeezed cuts and tried to get them to bleed even more just to see how much can come out without killing you

When one day you hate the scars, next you love them

When you paint your nails to hide the blood under them from constantly itching scabs

When you don't even care anymore

wingspan

11-17-2010, 10:49 AM

When you've squeezed cuts and tried to get them to bleed even more just to see how much can come out without killing you

I squeeze my cuts too just to make them bleed more or see how much blood will come out :P I thought I was the only one

vixie

11-17-2010, 06:39 PM

When you have to hand over your already switched off phone in a lesson because the teacher yells at you for texting under the desk, when in actual fact you were cutting.
Katerina
Xxx
I've had that happen to me a couple times >.>

Cara

11-17-2010, 10:37 PM

When one day you hate the scars, next you love them

When you feel pathetic if your cuts aren't as deep as the last ones.

When you keep Sharps and band aids on your person at all times - in pockets, in wallets…

When you can read a book for English class and find quotes that seem to speak directly to you about cutting.

When even the most popular songs on the radio can seem to have self-harm references.

When winter is your favorite shopping season because the women's section is FINALLY full of long sleeves.

When a summer trip is EXTREMELY stressful - not for the long car ride nor the yelling between your parents nor the moodiness of your siblings or self - because at one point your mom suggested you might consider going swimming with your little sister.

When it feels really emotional to get rid of a sharp - like loosing a pet or saying good bye to a close friend - even though you have several others still stashed in your room/on your person/etc. (Each one has a special sort of connection, don't you think?)

red&blueallie

11-18-2010, 12:06 AM

You carry a pocket knife for what your mother thinks is protection.

You carve "HELP" in to your thighs.

Your best friend is an*Exacto knife.*

UsedRomance

11-20-2010, 04:26 PM

I squeeze my cuts too just to make them bleed more or see how much blood will come out :P I thought I was the only one

Me too. Every time. I also pump my fingers open and closed to try and get more blood flowing.

littlebellalost

11-20-2010, 05:20 PM

When you are so calmed by the site of blood you are in college for a profession in which you will be working with blood. and sharps.
When you can spot another SI-er just by glancing at them a couple times, observing the way they act.
When you sleep with a knife under your pillow.
When you look in front of the full length mirror before and after each shower observing how each and every cut/scar is doing.
When you can create almost any everyday object into a sharp.
When you taste the blood that flows from a cut.
When you can't remember a time you were happy enough not to cut.
When you've hurt yourself in more than just the usual cutting/burning that everyone is familiar with.
When you listen to a song or read a poem and instantly know it's about SI.
When you want to stop and need to stop but won't stop because you can't stop because you need to do it otherwise you will go insane. Again.

Savannah

11-23-2010, 11:46 AM

When you've cut yourself in the car.. while driving.
When you know which parts of your body feel the best... anyone else like that? I prefer my forearms and ankle area.. just that perfect ratio of muscle to fat...
When you mentally map out the scars on your body in your mind at night..
When you've cut on such weird places as your scalp... ok that might just be me. X)
When you find most drugs less impressive than the high you get from SI.
When you have a favorite doctor to stitch you up, cause they already know and have stopped asking questions.

fwyzing

11-23-2010, 05:47 PM

When you've cut on such weird places as your scalp... ok that might just be me. X)

I do that too lol only a little, like above the back of my neck so the scar isn't obvious the way I normally wear my hair... but there's a good 4 or 5 I think.

AnaBabe

11-24-2010, 01:13 PM

You know your a self injuror...
When you are doing your make up and look on the wall in the reflection of your mirror to find a dryed blood splatter~
When you get upset in pubic and theres nothing to cut with so u dig ur finger nail into your arm until its bruised~
When you get upset at school so you dig and drag a pencil into your arm~
When you cant wear a swimming suit bc u have over 100 scars on your hips~

Cara

11-25-2010, 11:14 AM

When you mentally map out the scars on your body in your mind at night..

I'd forgotten that I used to do that, actually. It's been a while now but I used to do that all the time.

iWrite

11-25-2010, 02:54 PM

I can relate to the last to,but not really the first one.

iWrite

11-25-2010, 02:57 PM

i can relate to all of these exept the razor cat and thred

iWrite

11-25-2010, 02:59 PM

I can relate to all of them minus the class one kinda

Clarissa-Issa-Neh!!!

11-25-2010, 04:22 PM

You carry a pocket knife for what your mother thinks is protection.

You carve "HELP" in to your thighs.

Your best friend is an*Exacto knife.*

Your bff is Mr. Exacto too?! H's mine too! I take him everywhere and he's always there for me.
I probably sound crazy don't I? lol :)

iWrite

11-25-2010, 04:57 PM

You know you self-injure
When you ware a bunch of bracelets to cover cuts and scars(I used to have a bunch,but not anymore since I started school cause my school is all about modesty and stuff it's a private Christian school)
When your mad because your PE teacher doesn't let you ware jewelry and jackets only if it's cold outside(This recently happened to me when I started school)
When you wake up with dry blood on you and your bed(Actually happened to me)
When you sleep with a box cutter under your mattress(I do this)
When you carry around a razor head in you pocket(I used to do this now I carry a blade)
When you carry around 5 inch blade in your pocket(I do this well at school now I leave the house with nothing)
When you hate changing in front of people not only cause you're fat,but because of your cuts and scars(I do this)
When you're the only one who goes to the bathroom to change for PE(Just started doing this cause last year you had no choice)
When you're the only one who wares a jacket in 90 degree weather(Did this for a year)
When you yell at yourself and call yourself a baby for not making that cut deep enough(Actually did this)
When you freak out cause you PE shorts went up too far when you sat down(Happened to me many times cause my shorts are too big)
When you freak out cause your sleeves aren't long enough
When you're scared someone might see you looking at your cuts and scars on your wrists
When you look up pictures and quotes about self-injury(I do this)
When you lie and say you haven't cut when people ask you if you've done anything in fear of disappointment knowing they want you to get better(I do this)
When you keep a mini first-aid kit with your blade in your back pack(I do this)
When you walk into a store and see sharp blades and wonder how it would feel on your skin(actually happened to me)
When you walk into the art section of a store and see all the different blades and are tempted to take them(actually happened to me)
When you freak when some one touches the are that you have scars or cuts(actually happened to me)
When you freak out cause you're not waring a jacket and your talking to your guidance counselor who is observing how you made your bracelets(actually happened to me)
When you make up stupid lies about cuts(I do this)
When you take a match while it's burning and press it on your skin(I do this)
When you take a bat and hit yourself with it
When you take an eraser and rub it against your skin like a crazy person
When you let a stupid guy burn you with a pen he rubbed on his desk(I actually did this)
When you cut open a scab(I've done this)
When you write things about cutting and blood(I used to do this)
When you imagine yourself in the hospital getting your wrist wrapped(I used to do this)
When you imagine yourself passed out on your bathroom floor(I used to do this)
When you watch movies about self-injury(I do this)
When you cut without knowing why(I've done this)
When you cut your knee under the table at lunch knowing the guy in front of you knows your doing something under the table(I actually did this and yelled at him not to look cause I wasn't doing anything and I even put my tool in my pocket really fast to show him my hands then went back)
When you freak out when someone comes into the bathroom while your cutting in the shower(actually happened to me)
When you get mad when your mom keeps coming to the bathroom when your shaving(She does this to me well she used to,but now she thinks I'm all better,but I'm not I hated when she did this)
When your able to get physically hurt and think nothing of it(I do this sometimes)
When you're in the 7th grade and have given yourself more than 50 scars from cutting and friction(This is true on my part,but I am now in 8th grade)
When you discover that you have given yourself more than 100 scars from cutting,burning,and friction(This is true for me)
When you think of a lie before cutting
When your able to sneak several deep cuts on your wrist in study hall knowing your friends are all around you(I actually did this)
When you can give yourself a type of cut with a pen spring with your mom in the car(I actually did this)

That's about all of them I guess.Self-injury is serious I started when I was in the 6th grade I was only 11 years old some people start earlier,but it's no joke.Please take care of yourselves I've had chances of getting better,but refused and I went into counseling just so my mom would think I was getting better.I had to go for 6 months I barely completed 3 I hated it very much.It wasn't the place or therapist it was me so please don't give up on getting help.

Cara

11-28-2010, 12:13 AM

You go through a box of old things and instead of pulling out things to save for memories (i.e. a favorite toy to share with your own kids some day) you find yourself discretely pocketing something to add to your collection of Sharps.

Fallenflower

12-02-2010, 12:07 AM

When all you can think about is the next time you can get alone to cut
When it ruins you life
When all your friends and family can't understand
When people stop asking you how you got that cut because they already know how
When you start looking for easy things to cut with
When you don't let anyone into your room without going in and checking first
When you can make yourself bleed without needing any "sharps"
When you wear a "favorite sweater" all the time
When you can't find a pencil sharpener with a blade still in it-even if all you want to do is sharpen your pencil
When you freak out when people walk in to your room without knocking
When you know what "feels good" to cut with

That's all I can think of for now. Don't SI, it ruins your life.

livelifemiserable

12-02-2010, 04:02 AM

When you keep your favourite blade in your bra
When you fall asleep with a razor next you you in clear site
When you hide a razor in a stuffed animal
When you Have a razor underneath your pillow
When you say you fell as an excuse for your cuts
When you cut so deep you can see the fat
When you think about SH on your birthday.

much love.

oohmyeloise

12-02-2010, 06:27 AM

Lollirot90

12-07-2010, 07:06 AM

when you'd probably get charged with "weapon possession" if the cops ever went through your bag
when the hospital empties your bag of all sharps and it's now half the weight
when instead of drinking/chilling with your friends in a club/at a party you're alone in a park half a block away cutting yourself
when the smell of metal get's you excited or calms you down...
when you can't find a pair of PJ bottoms that aren't blood stained

wingspan

12-07-2010, 08:52 AM

when instead of drinking/chilling with your friends in a club/at a party you're alone in a park half a block away cutting yourself

Hahah i can relate to this. My friends will be off laughing and giggling at whatever and I'll be waiting in the car pulling out my razor, or running off to "go to the bathroom" so I can sit on the floor and cut for a minute or so

celepram

12-08-2010, 03:08 AM

hahaha, the first one

"when you'd probably get charged with "weapon possession" if the cops ever went through your bag"

i was caught with weed not long ago so they searched me and let me just say, if i didn't talk to the cop about my habit, that would have happened

Lollirot90

12-08-2010, 03:33 AM

Haha oh no :( I'm so paranoid about that happening.

mustbethin61394

12-08-2010, 08:12 PM

When you almost get expelled for having razors at school
When you have to go get stitches because you cut too deep in the middle of class
When you don't pay attention because you know it might be deeper
When you love falling asleep to that burning sensation in the middle of the night
When your boyfriend takes off your clothes not to have sex but to give you a body check
When the janitors at school know you have been in the bathroom by the blood and puke stains
When you steal razors from your father just to get a "fix"
When you cut over 300 times because it was just a bad day
When you have to buy new towels because yours are covered in blood
And the last
When you almost od on ibuprofen so that you bleed more.

machiavelliandandelion

12-10-2010, 08:40 PM

when you run your fingers over your cuts or scars loving the rigid bumpy feeling :)
when you stretch your skin and then cut because you know the cut will be deeper
when you love being able to se the pink flesh under your skin 'job well done'

ALL OF THESE. especially the second one.
my contribution:
when you have a special pair of forever-bloodied pants you wear to sleep so your cuts won't seep blood all over the sheets.
when you get excited and nervous about going to a crafts' store because you know it's one of few chances to shoplift razors.
when someone bumps the area you cut and you gasp and wince as if someone just stabbed you for no apparent reason.
when you have so many sharp things strategically hidden across your room that you begin to forget all the hiding spots (and panic).
when you judge dresses, skirts, and shorts by their length first, and how they look second.

BloodyAnaAgonyy

12-10-2010, 10:06 PM

I agree with all of these!

When you're so "close" to your razors that you've even named them [hope I'm not the only one who does this? lol]
When you wear long sleeves even in the summer
When you have a favorite blade
When you know which blade to use to get certain cuts
When you spray perfume on your cuts to make it hurt more [Am I the only one who does this? ;s]
When almost all your make-up is for your cuts
When you get so good at covering your cuts with make-up you sometimes forget to put on long sleeves or arm-warmers because you forget they're there
When you've gotten really good at photo-editing to hide cuts and scars in the photo
When you take pictures and look at them later to remind yourself you already did it
When you blame your vicious cat who hates you for cuts that were accidentally shown when you don't even a cat
When you tease yourself by doing it lightly on the arms and get almost high off it
When you sing [or just listen to the song] and the song mentions cutting you hold on to your wrist or wherever you cut last
When you have a special blood-red towel to clean your blood so it's less noticeable
When you sometimes schedule when to cut because you know you'll be home alone at the time
When you type up this much and can continue on for a while about cutting >.<

Lori

12-11-2010, 12:52 AM

When you relapse just once, and suddenly your shopping list has been expanded to include pencil sharpeners, razors (the shaving kind to be torn apart later), candles, matches, a lighter, supplies for a new first aid kit.....

~Lex~

12-11-2010, 01:44 PM

~when you ave learned to recognize if a conversation is heading toward SI and are ready to change topic.
~when you play with 'said-vicious cat' in front of people, thus "the cat did it" makes loads of sense.
~when you mourn the loss of the cat, for more than just your love of cats--(the cat isn't dead....and I did love her)
~when you freak out if your mum starts flipping through your psychology book--(you don't want her getting any ideas)
~when you....lol.....buy the most random crap just to get some blades (yes, I do that too)
~when you (rare if not just me) consider not going to visit your family elsewhere, because you'd ave to get on a plain....and you're pretty sure 'security' wouldn't take it well.
~when you ave times that you're pissed over your wrist being your favorite place--(it is so hard to hide)
~when your 'fashion style' includes, always aveing a bandanna tied on your arm. (somedays I just wana wear a T-shirt and not give a damn)
~when you never play any music that sounds like it may be about SI or even depression.(once again...don't want to give anyone ideas)
~when changing in front of anyone is just 'not an option'
~when you panic over the thought of someone going in your room (to much to find)
~when you've pulled your shirt sleeve down so often you do it even when you are alone (hell--you hardly notice you do it at all)
~when the list can go on-and-on......and-on...

red&blueallie

12-15-2010, 11:10 PM

•When you freak out when someone comes into your room. Not just for privacy but cause you can't remember if there is any SI things laying around. -blades, bloody handkerchief, blood, ect.

•you have a favorite cleanup handkerchief that is no longer white.

•one day you hate that you have so many scars so you just start to open & re-open & re-open old scars.

•the next day you love all your scars and cut fresh ones.

•no one can look at your phone cause of those pictures you took of your favorite new cut

Cara

12-23-2010, 12:20 AM

You know you're a self injurer when a first aid forum can tell you that the bubbly yellow stuff in your cut is fat tissue and "if it's that deep you really need to get it checked out' but instead of running to the doctor or even denying that its fat tissue, you find yourself saying: it's not deep enough though and obviously you don't have to go deep to see the fat in me.

astheykiss

12-31-2010, 12:06 AM

When you can't find a pencil sharpener with a blade still in it-even if all you want to do is sharpen your pencil - this, ALL THE TIME.

When you freak out when people use your pencil sharpeners to actually (god forbid) sharpen pencils, and you don't want to get lead poisoning... I'm surprisingly anal about infections for a cutter XD

When you lose your mini screw driver and have a panic attack because you can't think of another way to deconstruct a pencil sharpener.

scarred_angel

03-23-2011, 05:04 AM

When you lose your mini screw driver and have a panic attack because you can't think of another way to deconstruct a pencil sharpener.

YES!! It's the most frustrating thing ever.

when you own more long, mesh, fishnet, lace gloves than you do pants.
when you have no summer clothes in your cupboard.
when you fall asleep with a towel on top of your sheet so that you don't stain the sheets.
when you run out of bandages and chop up old clothes to last until you can get to the pharmacy.
when all your clothes are black, red, navy blue, or dark purple.
when strangers stop you in the street and ask what happened.

Nour

04-02-2011, 09:05 PM

I'm not sure if this applies to anyone else, but I'll put it anyway xD
- When you're glad you're Muslim 'cause you can cover your arms...
- When the first excuse you came up with was 'I cut myself while doing stencil art', so you've had to stick to it.
- When you blame the 'neighbour's cat'.

Happy

04-06-2011, 09:16 PM

Don't know if anyone has said these but..
-Someone can sit on or hit your fresh cuts and you don't flinch because you've mastered hiding the pain it causes.
-You have scars that are years old and still haven't faded.
-You touch your scars when you're thinking or just because the raised skin feels nice.
-You dread your partner seeing your body because of the scars you have hidden..or worse, fresh (or not yet healed) cuts.
I've avoided being intimate with my significant other because I had cuts that didn't heal quickly enough and I didn't want them to see the cuts.
and
-You promise people you'll tell them if you cut, or tell them you won't cut..and still cut..and tell nobody.

tophatAlyce03

04-06-2011, 09:44 PM

Good grief. This all sounds so familiar.

-When you want to throttle your roommate, because she won't go away and you just want to cut.
-When you clean your room and find blades that you didn't even know you owned.
-When you know the exact method of getting blood stains out of anything. And I mean anything.
-When you don't even need a reason anymore.

and most importantly to me:

-When you want to stand in the middle of a room full of people and just scream at them that the cat didn't do it and you're willingly tearing yourself apart, and then ten seconds later, you nearly have a panic attack from the thought of anyone knowing.

Sorry if I've repeated any.

panda0912

04-13-2011, 04:42 AM

panda0912

04-13-2011, 05:04 AM

when you have a heart attack when someone uses your pen because theres a blade inside it
when someone picks up your sharpner, and you snatch it back because there are no blades in it.

Barely_Short

04-13-2011, 12:41 PM

When you have a collection of broken bobbypins because those cut pretty well.
When you realize all o the inside pockets on your pants have blood stains
My grandpa uses blades as stitch cutters for sewing, he has a few and I really want to take one because they look incredibly sharp.

MutatedThoughtProcess

07-25-2011, 03:36 AM

You Know You're a Self-Injurer When...

a) You took one of the pretty towels with a piece of lace on it that isn't meant for use, hid it in your closet along with razor blades, bloody paper clips, safety pins, jagged kitchen knife, and mini first aid kit, using it to sop up all of the blood.

B) You literally made a ritual for when you cut/burn yourself.

C) You write morbid passages, poetry, and songs and smear your blood along the margins to give it a special sort of touch.

D) You use your blood in your art work.

E) You hide blood stained clothes in your closet.

F) You bring a razor and lighter to school so you can cut and burn in the school bathroom while your supposed to be at lunch.

G) You fail gym (refuse to dress out, ever) in order to avoid questions about the cuts/scars.

H) You feel paranoid and eavesdrop on classmates conversations to make sure they don't know about your little habbits... am I really just crazy paranoid or does anyone else do this?

Dizzo

07-28-2011, 01:44 AM

When you wear long black jeans in mid-summer to hide your cuts.
When you stop cutting just because your best guy friend won't talk to you anymore if you do otherwise.
When your best friend blames herself for not being able tostop you.
When you cut on your chest and when your parents ask, you say your mate accidentally scratched you.. And then your mom says you got into a fight and that she'll talk to your teacher. Oh crap.
When you cut not because you are sad, but just so harm yourself.
When you get anxious, desperate and depressed when you don't know how to hurt yourself worse.
When you self injure next to your parents while you're fighting and they don't even notice.
When you almost start crying because you can't find the thing you used to SI with anymore.
When you can't sleep at night because you've cut too badly.
When you start being afraid of yourself.
When you use the pretty, little and sharp scissors especially designed for nails to do *something else*.

epicbeautiful

07-28-2011, 01:53 AM

you give yourself brain damage from bashing your head into shit to try to knock yourself out for a while.

Ritsukia

07-28-2011, 05:17 AM

When you can't find a pencil sharpener with a blade still in it-even if all you want to do is sharpen your pencil - this, ALL THE TIME.

When you lose your mini screw driver and have a panic attack because you can't think of another way to deconstruct a pencil sharpener.

STORY. OF MY LIFE. xD

I draw a lot and this is my #1 problem. :(

LoveToRock

07-28-2011, 11:00 AM

omg you guise! (nah, jk, i dont talk like that)
but anyway, more than ten of these are totally me! i freak the **** out when my mom or my aunt tries to talk to me. i think they found something, ANYTHING, that would be "incriminating". (i like to refer to evidence that way, makes it seem less shameful)
and ive got another one:

when you have at least three different diaries - two with boring stuff to trick people, and one real one.
and, you know exactly which razors have the individual blades (the cheap ones) and which have the ones stuck together (the expensive ones)
when you go to the store and buy four razors - two for shaving, and two for pulling apart.

i have to do that, my aunt loves to go in my room when im out, of when im asleep, which is mostly why im so paranoid.

LoveToRock

07-28-2011, 11:15 AM

ALL OF THESE. especially the second one.
my contribution:
when you have a special pair of forever-bloodied pants you wear to sleep so your cuts won't seep blood all over the sheets.
when you get excited and nervous about going to a crafts' store because you know it's one of few chances to shoplift razors.
when someone bumps the area you cut and you gasp and wince as if someone just stabbed you for no apparent reason.
when you have so many sharp things strategically hidden across your room that you begin to forget all the hiding spots (and panic).
when you judge dresses, skirts, and shorts by their length first, and how they look second.

when someone bumps the area you cut and you gasp and wince as if someone just stabbed you for no apparent reason.
when you have so many sharp things strategically hidden across your room that you begin to forget all the hiding spots (and panic).
when you judge dresses, skirts, and shorts by their length first, and how they look second.

those are so me. and when i cant find my blades i spend half a day looking for them only to realize they were in a pouch clipped to my bag the whole time. with a little diary lock on the zippers, you know, the kind you can pick with a pen cap. it just makes me feel safer.