people not understanding!

[anonomousmia]

Ok so I posted on here a week ago about how my mum opened a latter addressed to me. I have arrived back home now, and cannot believe how the situation is being handled.

My parents are acting like nothing is wrong and ignoring the fact there is a problem. I have found out from my sister that my mum has told my dad. And my sister has told me some things my mum has been saying and its really really upset me. I've been in tears tonight about it, as I also found out today that I failed my final year of university because of this whole thing.

Luckily the university have understood and are letting me redo my last year, as a first attempt. But I know my parents do not understand, and I know they haven't bothered to try to understand either by researching it on the internet or asking me even if I'm ok?!

Sorry to rant but I needed to vent, I don't have anyone to talk to as my boyfriend (who is amazing with all of this) is in America all summer :(

I have not told my parents about failing and feel like I've been a huge disappointment as I was always pretty perfect when younger. I actually can't believe it's come to this, and what a mess I seem to be in. How do you cheer yourself up? Or distract yourself? etc. I just feel lost and down, and I'm sick of lying around in my room.

[crowonthegate]

I am not sure what to suggest to you in regards to your situation. But I can tell you that there are so many women like you that have parents like yours (difficult and not willing to understand because they are more worried about their own discomfort or helplessness or denying things as a way of coping). I went to university and my eating disorder became worse, my cousin went to university and she has mia too. Both are families are quite ridiculous and dysfunctional to some extent. Bulimia for me and some others is about giving myself things that I can't get from others, and suppressing the negative feelings that I have had for years and years. There are so many things that you have had to deal with, that you use your ed to cope with. Your family most likely contributes to this( my family doesn't get it or me altogether and my therapist has told me that they never will). What I can say if its any help to you is that it is hard to hold things together and please people who don't get it. Being affected by others in a negative way and being controlled by others makes me feel vulnerable and fragile. I think that (if you can), recognize that you have accomplished this much, without the support of your family, in a stressful situation with an eating disorder that you have had to keep secret from your family and perhaps many others. I know that stress and emotional pain is what caused my eating disorder, as well as feeling unhappy with myself. Living a normal life on the outside , while trying to keep an ed a secret is double the work and anguish that anyone who doesn't have an ed has to deal with. Recognize who you are and just what you have been through

[xbutterflyx]

i told my sister and she never asks me or seems to care that i am like this it would be nice to know that someone close to me is on my side.
even my boyfriend doesnt ask me which really hurts sometimes i feel like i am on my own with this and that nobody cares. its horrible. :(

[spacele]

why is it something you want other people to know about in the first place? when you feel ready in your heart and have prepared to quit for yourself, no one should be able to interfere nor should you let them tell you differently. its a long road, but each arduous journey begins with just one step

[LittleMissOlive]

in reply to spacele: sometimes and especially when your ed was a mechanism to get control over your life and to have something you could rely on when friends or family weren't there for you, having your friends or family pick up on your situation and maybe try and help makes you feel worthwhile. feeling less alone than the solitute of living with only yourself and your obsession with food.
but then again, we are being selfish in our own respect - not meaning to but if one had to choose between purging after a binge or helping someone out i'm sure the purge would come first, in my opinion anyways - and this may be our punishment. to be alone in what we choose to inflict on ourselves.
Irony sucks.

[jaz3]

I told my partner and he can't cope at all, he just ignores it or tells me it's stupid, if only he knew what was going on in my head..... I have a really great and understanding friend tho which she has been a great listener but really can't help me other than that. I guess no one can when its ur own head thats the problem. I think it is ultimetly up to ourselves and just hope that there are people out there to support us.

[miamama]

Put yourself in their shoes. Your daughter/son came up to you to tell you that they are unhappy with yourself so you are doing something to harm yourself. How would you react? When I was 16 and started b/p my mother found out and kicked me out of the house for a couple of hours. Was I mad at her? Yes, but now as a mother myself I can understand better. I wanted power over her. Almost by saying " look what I do and you can't stop me". I wanted my mother to focus on me no matter what it was. I want and needed attention no matter how much damage I had to do to myself. Then I had to ask myself why. Why did I want/need her attention? You can only answer that.