Can someone please convince me not to cut?

[Starlight53a]

Maybe this isn't the right place for this, I dunno, but I keep thinking of cutting myself, but I kinda don't want to, and I know I shouldn't, and I'm so worried that if I do it once, I won't be able to stop... Anyone? Please? :(

[Jacklinger]

Stoppit. Don't do that. It hurts! Be nice to Alice. She's a good person. She deserves to be happy and loved, not hurt and lonely. Don't hurt her.

[loseweight]

wait cuttin leave u with bruises and makes ur skin looks ugly do u want that?
i know i dont if u feel angry slam the door or like break sum plates haha i do that at times

[NotSure]

i agree with the 'dont hurt alice' thing!

yes, as you appear to realise, self harm is a kind of addictive behaviour.

what's hurting you? what's causing you pain? what do you need? what can you do to look after yourself?

keep talking to us!

[Nancy]

Try really hard not to self harm or hurt yourself and instead, discuss what is fueling these thoughts and drives. Get professional help if you're really struggling. Self harm isn't the route to go down, it doesn't solve anything, just is a bit of a distraction but ends up causing more problems than you started with. You never know, you might be one of those people who get terribly addicted with it and give yourself hideous scars that will be there for the rest of your life and prevent you from feeling comfortable in your own skin and stop you wearing summer clothes outside of your own home. Probably sounds like I'm trying to scare you but I'm just presenting you with the reality of things here.

PM if you ever need to chat or want to get something of your mind x

[UsedRomance]

Alice, let me tell you about my story with self harm. I won't patronise you. I won't give you a horror story. I will be totally honest with you. Ok?

I started cutting when I was 16. For a variety of reasons that I have mentioned several times so I won't repeat myself. Feel free to get in touch if you'd like to know. At first it felt great. I felt elated and like I had this great secret I was hiding from the world. I would do it several times every day. I loved it. BUT...

Then my best friend saw the cuts. She was heartbroken. At that time, she was the closest person in my world. I could see how upset she was, although she tried to hide it. She had cut in the past and I remembered how upset that made me. I felt so guilty, but I didn't stop.

Then her relationship broke down. She started cutting again. I felt horrendous. It hurt me so much to know that someone I loved so much was hurting that badly. I felt so useless and pathetic that I couldn't help her. She felt the same. We would hug each other and crybecause we couldn't help each other. I still couldn't stop.

Then her mum found out. I was there when her mum saw the cuts. Her mum was in pieces about it. Her brother got angry and a huge row broke out. It was a horrible, awkward position to be in. It showed me how many people it affects. She didn't even get on with her brother, but he was directly affected by it. I still couldn't stop.

Then I got a boyfriend. He was my first love. But I still had major problems. I was cutting more than ever now. He hated it. One day I noticed he'd cut himself. It was like my best friend all over again but worse. Didn't I make him happy enough? Why did he need to cut- wasn't I enough? I knew that's how he felt about me. We nearly broke up because of my cutting. I knew how much it hurt him and I still didn't stop.

You know why I didn't stop cutting all those times? Because I was stuck. I had been sucked in. I wanted to, so badly. My diaries from the time are documented with how badly I wanted to cut and how hard I was trying not to. If I had them to hand, I would write down some extracts for you. I felt so torn between these two parts of my mind- the self-harmer and the girl who wanted to be normal again.

Eventually I managed to stop. It's been about 4 years since I had a regular habit. But it never goes away. Even now, when I'm upset or angry, the first thing I think of is cutting. I still have a knife in my make up bag, just in case. It takes so much strength when I'm in such an emotional state to not do it. Sometimes I do. Then I feel even worse. I went 6 months without cutting this year. I felt horrendous when I caved- so weak and pathetic.

It's something that I will probably live with all of my life. I don't think it will ever go away.

I don't want to lecture you so I won't say what you should or shouldn't do. All I'll say is, if I could go back to the day I first cut and start again, I would never have done it. It wasn't worth it. The cutting made no difference to my mood in the long run. It didn't solve my problems or make my life better.

Please PM me ANY time you need support. I'm always on here and I'm always happy to help you. Take care lovely xx

[NotSure]

very well expressed, UsedRomance
i so relate to what you say. iv been in an out of si for about 21 yrs now and it rules my days. i use it to 'cope' with everything.... but truth be told this is fake comfort :(
x

[be_noticed]

well this might sound a little OCD but dont cut, you are more open to disease's and can get infected easier. you dont want that do you?
no need to harm yourself when you are already improving your in plan to lose weight. you need to stop. please.