linds
06-15-2009, 05:13 PM
RIGHT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.....I currently feel like total crap! I aint been doing so well for a while as there are so many easy excuses as to why you can't purge and its resulting in me turning into a heffa...(well a bigger heffa)
I am starting a challenge, a fast, a detox, a nothing but water for as long as I possibly can go....
I'm going to go 3 days with liquids...water and diet coke mainly...then if i'm feeling bad i'm gonna eat but no more than 500 cals.
Then i'm gonna go 4 days on liquid.....then eat 500 cals,
then i'm gonna go 5 days...and keep tis up for as long as I can..
I'm so depressed at the way i look and the way i feel that i don't even want to get out of bed anymore...i hate myself and hate everyone around me cos i'm so pathetic that they must be pathetic to be friends with me. I know thats harsh but thats just how little i think of myself at the moment.
This time last year I was at the peak of my bulemia..i wasn't well but my god i was happy. i weighed over a stone less than i do now and it just makes me feel like i've lost and i've destroyed all that past effort and i'm weak becuase i can't get back in control of my life again.
I know bulemia isn't clever, and i should know better...but its truly the only thing that makes me happy. I'd rather be happy for a short period of time than miserable for the rest of my pathetic life.
So here i say (sorry for waffling on) that I'm setting myself this challenge and if anyone wants to do it with me I would be so happy for the support and company...and to know i'm not the only person who can't stand to look at myself anymore...
please and thank you x
I am starting a challenge, a fast, a detox, a nothing but water for as long as I possibly can go....
I'm going to go 3 days with liquids...water and diet coke mainly...then if i'm feeling bad i'm gonna eat but no more than 500 cals.
Then i'm gonna go 4 days on liquid.....then eat 500 cals,
then i'm gonna go 5 days...and keep tis up for as long as I can..
I'm so depressed at the way i look and the way i feel that i don't even want to get out of bed anymore...i hate myself and hate everyone around me cos i'm so pathetic that they must be pathetic to be friends with me. I know thats harsh but thats just how little i think of myself at the moment.
This time last year I was at the peak of my bulemia..i wasn't well but my god i was happy. i weighed over a stone less than i do now and it just makes me feel like i've lost and i've destroyed all that past effort and i'm weak becuase i can't get back in control of my life again.
I know bulemia isn't clever, and i should know better...but its truly the only thing that makes me happy. I'd rather be happy for a short period of time than miserable for the rest of my pathetic life.
So here i say (sorry for waffling on) that I'm setting myself this challenge and if anyone wants to do it with me I would be so happy for the support and company...and to know i'm not the only person who can't stand to look at myself anymore...
please and thank you x