SummerAngel
06-03-2009, 12:09 PM
A few days ago I was two years into recovery. I never thought I would be able to say that because this past year has been so whatever. I've had so many good days, but at the same time I've had my share of bad days as well. But that's to be expected in recovery from an eating disorder, right? :rolleyes:
I had a few months where I went into relapse because the one teacher that I had depended on so much disappeared because she had a heart attack due to smoking and stress and so many other things. So when she disappeared I freaked out and suddenly couldn't eat anything at school. I was frightened and thought I had no support - I hadn't been on this website before. I had lost some weight and was worried because I had worked hard to get to where I was in recovery. Without that teacher and without my therapist, I was convinced I couldn't do it. Then I met another teacher.
I didn't become dependent on her to eat, but I knew she was there to support me during lunch if I needed her. There were some days where she would sit next to me in her room and read because I was very weak in will-power to recover. Then there were other days where I went on without any trouble. She's helped me reach emotional recovery. I am patient (sort of, lol), my temper is under control (FINALLY!), I'm optimistic (most of the time), and I have a better relationship with my baby sister that is 7 years younger than me.
I am now physically, spiritually, socially, and emotionally recovered. I'm told it will take another three years for mental recovery to happen, and even then I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet because it could possibly take longer. My friend that is recovered (and has been recovered for around 10 years) told me that once I am comfortable with myself and I actually LIKE myself, it will all go away. I have to be content with myself first and find something to like before it ever disappears. God only knows how long it will take.
I still have my bad days, and I know I'm bound to have them, but I also have good days in recovery. Those days where eating definitely isn't pleasant, but it's not a chore... something I "have" to do. On bad days, it becomes a chore. :o
Right now my Aunt Linda is one of my biggest supporters, she's there for me when I need her the most. I can call her anytime I feel weak. I'm doing a lot of praying - I realize some people on here might not believe in God, and that's your choice, and I respect that choice :) - and God has really helped me a lot. In the middle of the night when I want to exercise and know I can't, I can call on Him and He comes to me. I've been blessed to have support through my recovery.
And right now, I don't know what I would do without you guys. I can post on here and you all know exactly what I'm talking about. That means a lot to me. :o
xx
I had a few months where I went into relapse because the one teacher that I had depended on so much disappeared because she had a heart attack due to smoking and stress and so many other things. So when she disappeared I freaked out and suddenly couldn't eat anything at school. I was frightened and thought I had no support - I hadn't been on this website before. I had lost some weight and was worried because I had worked hard to get to where I was in recovery. Without that teacher and without my therapist, I was convinced I couldn't do it. Then I met another teacher.
I didn't become dependent on her to eat, but I knew she was there to support me during lunch if I needed her. There were some days where she would sit next to me in her room and read because I was very weak in will-power to recover. Then there were other days where I went on without any trouble. She's helped me reach emotional recovery. I am patient (sort of, lol), my temper is under control (FINALLY!), I'm optimistic (most of the time), and I have a better relationship with my baby sister that is 7 years younger than me.
I am now physically, spiritually, socially, and emotionally recovered. I'm told it will take another three years for mental recovery to happen, and even then I shouldn't get my hopes up just yet because it could possibly take longer. My friend that is recovered (and has been recovered for around 10 years) told me that once I am comfortable with myself and I actually LIKE myself, it will all go away. I have to be content with myself first and find something to like before it ever disappears. God only knows how long it will take.
I still have my bad days, and I know I'm bound to have them, but I also have good days in recovery. Those days where eating definitely isn't pleasant, but it's not a chore... something I "have" to do. On bad days, it becomes a chore. :o
Right now my Aunt Linda is one of my biggest supporters, she's there for me when I need her the most. I can call her anytime I feel weak. I'm doing a lot of praying - I realize some people on here might not believe in God, and that's your choice, and I respect that choice :) - and God has really helped me a lot. In the middle of the night when I want to exercise and know I can't, I can call on Him and He comes to me. I've been blessed to have support through my recovery.
And right now, I don't know what I would do without you guys. I can post on here and you all know exactly what I'm talking about. That means a lot to me. :o
xx