First post in recovery forum..please read

[mel_92]

I have been thinking of trying to recover for a while now. My parents, granny and best friends have been going on at me a lot lately, saying I look too thin, I've got a problem, I need help etc. And I agree with them. On Monday my mum handed me information she'd printed off because she was so worried. My dad even cried, and he hugged me and got even more upset because he could feel my spine sticking out so much.
My best guy mate sat me down and told me I'm too bony, and when I walked into the shop where my other best friend works today, she looked up and said, "Oh my god, you have gotten so skinny!" when she only saw me last week.
So this is it. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, I'm going to try and recover. I've been reading the recovery forum a lot lately and following your progress. But I have a question. I know the calorie content for almost EVERYTHING. How can I recover if I'm constantly counting calories in my head?

[madeofstars]

Hi Mel :)

So glad you've made the brave and strong decision to recover! It's great that you have the support of family and friends, and also fab that you're doing it with a doctor's help- the more real life support you have, the easier recovery is. I wish you all the very best with it, and please please join the recovery thread, just to warn you though, we're all a little grumpy at the moment, but I'm sure it will get happier over time haha!

About the calorie counting thing, I dont think it's necessarily that much of a problem. A lot of "normal" eaters (ie people without eds) count calories just to make sure they are being healthy etc, and knowing how good/bad for you a food is might help you to make good choices when trying to eat normally. I wouldnt worry too much about it for now. Take small steps- go to the doctors, see what they have to say, and make a realistic, achievable plan- you wont recover overnight, you need to do little bits at a time. Even if for a week it's just "I will eat one extra piece of fruit a day and have toast for breakfast every two days". I rushed into recovery too quickly and thought I could do it all at once, and well, it all went wrong! So please, please take it slowly. It will be hard work, but ultimately it will be worth it.

Take care <3

[mel_92]

Thank you so much :)
My mum made me a peice of toast for breakfast, just marmite and no margarine or anything and then I had to have some of those marmite and cheese pastry swirls for lunch. I could only physically manage 4 before I felt really full and I'm still full from them now. I have my friend's eighteenth meal tonight so am going to eat something there.
I went to the gym today and went to town afterwards and bought myself a box of maltesers and then stashed it in my cupboard for 'another day'. I don't really know why I did it tbh.
Good luck with your journey to recovery.

[twink12]

I'm here if you need any help, I had a very similar issue with calorie counting. Everytime you go to look at the label think... well i burn calories sitting on my bum, so why look at them when i sit down a lot... sounds very silly, but this is what helped me. i also looked at writing foods that i ate down ratehr than numbers, it made me focus on food ratehr than calories, aaaaaaaaand i really wish u all the best with the docs appointment xx

[SeaFeel]

Good luck with recovery!! We are really looking forward to seeing more posts and updates from you in this section!

On calorie counting, i faced the same problem as you - knowing the calorie content of basically everything i come around, it is almost impossibble to switch off the numbers popping into your thoughts. Like Madeostars, i am also known for measuring out cereal and carrots on a scale to be able to calculate properly... As part of therapy, i had to keep a food diary, and i was told not to list calories in there. First, i just didnt write it down, but had the numbers in my head going back at least 3 days :) Even had to set a daily limit in the first weeks, to feel more in control. I still have a limit, though much more flexible, and now i dont obsess so much about adding up everything properly. Or dont freak out (well most of the time) if i eat a bit more than this limit. I cant turn it off, but it is much easier now. The key is not obsessing so much about it, and in the end, as the others have pointed out, knowing calories is not such a bad thing, it can even be an advantage in the future :)

Good luck again, and keep us updated!

[mel_92]

Thanks for the replies. Yeah I've decided maybe it's not such a bad thing to know how many calories I'm consuming, as long as I try to learn to not let it control me, i.e. freaking out if I have 5 too many.
I ate at my friend's meal tonight, I didn't overdo it especially not by 'normal' people's standards but from all the restricting my stomach's shrunk and I feel really full. I've had loads of support from my best friends and my parents but I'm really nervous about the doctor's appointment.
Thank you for the help, I'm so happy that I found this site because there's always people who understand where I'm coming from :)