urgh..

[misguided ghost]

i don't really know what's wrong with me..
basically i haven't really left my bed in nearly 2 weeks. the rare times i do manage to drag myself to the shower i just stand underneath the water & cry, & every night i fall into bed & cry until i can sleep..
i spend most of the day sleeping because i can't face the thought of anything else..
i've had zero appetite for a week now (not that i'm complaining, what with the ED & everything)..

i just feel numb. empty inside. it's like i'm just constantly surrounded by darkness, & all i can feel is this dull ache inside me..
then every now & again i just snap, i break & then i feel something. just a horrible, sharp sadness inside & i can't stop crying..

skjgshzdfjfgxk.
sorry, this is my first proper post here, i just really could use some support or something..

[EnoughIsEnough]

Hi there.

I'm really sorry to see that you're feeling so low. :(

Have you tried going to a doctor about it? Anti-depressants may be the way forward.

I felt very similar to how you describe back in March (except I couldn't cry at all), and my doctor put me on fluoxetine. It's supposed to be really good for depression (and bulimia)...if I'm honest, I'm not feeling the effects anymore, but it might be the right thing for you.

If you ever fancy a chat, just pm me or if I'm online, start a conversation. :)

I see you're from the UK - whereabouts? I'm in Nottingham or Birmingham depending on term time. :)

[misguided ghost]

i was actually meant to see the doctor today as i have a few other stress-related health issues i need sorting - i've developed some weird rash on my hands etc. & i was thinking about mentioning my current mental/emotional state to them while i was there..
however, i got up this morning & my mum had cancelled my appointment because, i quote, "well it's not really that bad" :/
didn't really help my mood but she didn't realise exactly what it was i was going to talk about..
anyway i'm going to try & see if i can get another appointment for in the week - the only trouble is, i'm TERRIBLE at talking about me. i freeze up completely & normally just cry or have an anxiety attack. do you think the doctor would be okay if i wrote some stuff down for them?

but anyway, thankyou for the kind reply :) i'm honestly touched that someone who doesn't even know me would reach out like that..
i'm also in birmingham most of the time as that's where i'm at uni :)

[EnoughIsEnough]

do you think the doctor would be okay if i wrote some stuff down for them?

I feel the same way. I did exactly that - I wrote a letter about how I was feeling and just gave it to the doctor so he could read it, rather than me having to explain it all. He was really understanding about it, and I'd definitely recommend writing it out. :)

It sucks that the appointment was cancelled, but by all means book another appointment. It's for the best!

Wow, coincidence there! I'm near Birmingham when at home, but Nottingham for uni. I'm a long-suffering first year law student lol. What are you studying? :) (Yes, I am indeed a nosey person!)

Replies are always nice - when you're feeling low a chat tends to help. Plus, it's hard not to reply to something I can so clearly relate to!

Hope you're feeling okay today. :)

[misguided ghost]

sorry i've not been good at replying, i've been a little all over the place lately :(

basically my mum sat me down for a talk - apparently she's noticed that something isn't "right" & that i've "changed"..
so i told her how i'd been feeling (she suffers from depression too) & she was pretty sympathetic & made another doctor's appointment for me there & then.
but she also said she wanted me to try some other methods, like getting out of the house more etc. to try & lift my mood naturally because she's been on meds for years & she said i was too young & it should only be a last resort etc. etc.
which is fair enough i guess but i'm not convinced it's going to work..
went to the doctors & told her about some stuff - the anxiety attacks, the feeling low, a few health issues etc.
she was also really understanding & said she could refer me to someone to "talk things through" but i freaked out at the idea & said no..

i'm not sure how i feel now. to be honest i've just made plans for the entire week to distract me, which has worked okay - it's just at night or showering or when i'm on my own for too long that i can feel the darkness settling over me again..

also, to answer your question, i study english language :)

[EnoughIsEnough]

If you ever fancy a chat, just pm me or if I'm online, start a conversation.

I see you're from the UK - whereabouts? I'm in Nottingham or Birmingham depending on term tim
Here you can find what do you want
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What the hell is this? :S Recycling my words as an advert? Weird.

And English language? I'm jealous. Meh. Currently trying to switch my course to English.

Keeping busy is probably a good idea if you feel worse when you're alone. I tend to feel worse when I'm with others...I suppose I feel inadequate and disconnected. Looking back, anti-depressants are possibly not the best way...they're not helping me terribly well and it's easy to become dependent.

Hope things are going a little better!