ddi
05-16-2010, 05:54 PM
I feel I have been too easy on myself for too long. I got down to 65kgs this week and for some reason thought that it would be a great idea to see if I could 'maintain' rather than carry on losing, knowing full well that I was sabotaging myself. I don't know how to eat like a normal person and I never have. It's either binge or starve. Back up to 67kgs and I feel so sick and bloated. At this rate, I will never be 45//99lbs.
I'm on a strict diet of rice cakes and yoghurt until Friday. Need to get this fat off me. Also need to get over my phobia of throwing food away - it is so prohibitive. I need to be tiny. I used to want to be attractive, but now I know that won't happen at any weight so this is my compromise.
I can't believe that I'm stressing about this when I have such important exams coming up. I don't care about them one bit. I'm not revising and I'm almost definitely going to fail.
I wish I was pure. I wish I hated food. Well, you can't get anything good without a struggle.
I'm on a strict diet of rice cakes and yoghurt until Friday. Need to get this fat off me. Also need to get over my phobia of throwing food away - it is so prohibitive. I need to be tiny. I used to want to be attractive, but now I know that won't happen at any weight so this is my compromise.
I can't believe that I'm stressing about this when I have such important exams coming up. I don't care about them one bit. I'm not revising and I'm almost definitely going to fail.
I wish I was pure. I wish I hated food. Well, you can't get anything good without a struggle.