RubyRed
05-03-2010, 07:35 AM
Hi guys, I've been reading a few of the recovery posts and I thought I would try and offer some kind of inspiration :) even if it's actually just stating the obvious lol
I was a self recovered anorexic in my teens, I chose to do it that way as I didn't want to relinquish my control and hand over everything to doctors. My parents were great in that they gave me the choice, sometimes, I know it would have been better for me in the end to go to a doctor and try to sort out my ed habits, because like a lot of you say in your posts, they seem to remain no matter what you actually manage to do to recover. I suffered from the emotional turmoil for months afterwards, just like a lot of you, I felt more crazy in 'recovery' than I ever did with my anorexia!! I would want to scream out and tell everyone that I was still suffering even though it didn't look like it on the outside anymore. It turns into an inward battle for us. I managed, it was bloody difficult but I managed for a few years. The thing is, like some of you have said, my anorexia isn't primarily about my weight, it's my number one defense mechanism, a coping device that has never yet let me down, it lifts my spirits to see the number on the scale go down because that means I'm dealing with things, I'm doing it my way and everything will be alright, also it takes over my thoughts so much I don't have to think about all the bad stuff in life. So it seems that I've gone off point here, but I just wanted you to know, I know both sides of the coin.
This is what I wanted to say though, we as a group (ed sufferers) are THE most self controlled and dedicated lot I have ever known. We manage to resist food, get rid of it, control it, EVEN THOUGH it is the most common part of our lives, it's advertised on the T.V, it's on the radio, people around us tend to eat it more than three times a day and people always surround social situations with it. My point finally is that we have tremendous inner strength to be able to do that kind of thing with something so prominently in our everyday lives. Take that strength and use it for what you want, if you want to recover, know that you can and it will be hard, but use your self restraint in a different way, restrain from binges and purging and allow yourself mistakes, because we are the most rigid of people, we never allow ourselves mistakes and we're not Angels, we're human, so we're allowed them :) We judge ourselves too harshly, next time you're out, look at people in restaurants, they're having a good time, go join them!! :D
Best of luck to you all, I apologise for the lengthy post by the way, I have a way of rambling on and on... lol
xxxx
I was a self recovered anorexic in my teens, I chose to do it that way as I didn't want to relinquish my control and hand over everything to doctors. My parents were great in that they gave me the choice, sometimes, I know it would have been better for me in the end to go to a doctor and try to sort out my ed habits, because like a lot of you say in your posts, they seem to remain no matter what you actually manage to do to recover. I suffered from the emotional turmoil for months afterwards, just like a lot of you, I felt more crazy in 'recovery' than I ever did with my anorexia!! I would want to scream out and tell everyone that I was still suffering even though it didn't look like it on the outside anymore. It turns into an inward battle for us. I managed, it was bloody difficult but I managed for a few years. The thing is, like some of you have said, my anorexia isn't primarily about my weight, it's my number one defense mechanism, a coping device that has never yet let me down, it lifts my spirits to see the number on the scale go down because that means I'm dealing with things, I'm doing it my way and everything will be alright, also it takes over my thoughts so much I don't have to think about all the bad stuff in life. So it seems that I've gone off point here, but I just wanted you to know, I know both sides of the coin.
This is what I wanted to say though, we as a group (ed sufferers) are THE most self controlled and dedicated lot I have ever known. We manage to resist food, get rid of it, control it, EVEN THOUGH it is the most common part of our lives, it's advertised on the T.V, it's on the radio, people around us tend to eat it more than three times a day and people always surround social situations with it. My point finally is that we have tremendous inner strength to be able to do that kind of thing with something so prominently in our everyday lives. Take that strength and use it for what you want, if you want to recover, know that you can and it will be hard, but use your self restraint in a different way, restrain from binges and purging and allow yourself mistakes, because we are the most rigid of people, we never allow ourselves mistakes and we're not Angels, we're human, so we're allowed them :) We judge ourselves too harshly, next time you're out, look at people in restaurants, they're having a good time, go join them!! :D
Best of luck to you all, I apologise for the lengthy post by the way, I have a way of rambling on and on... lol
xxxx