does any one understand?

[LessThanPerfect]

Hi guys, basically, confused.com. !

When i was 12, i got diagnosed with anorexia, through councelling, i got better... (well as much as i could any way) something since then has always made me want to keep dieteing, iv never been happy with how look, always wanted to lose weight etc.

Every morning i wake up and think, right. no food today. if i have to eat... make it something healthy.
That usually lasts til about 4pm, then i end up grabbing.. crisps... chocolate... biscuits... cake.. etc... and i just cant stop my self. and i physically cant make myself sick. So i end up spending the day in bed, refusing to talk to anyone, because i look hideous and huge. people tell me im really skinny and pretty, but that always makes me mad, because i KNOW they are lying.

so sorry to ramble on, just so confused at the moment, and could really do with some help.

does any one have msn?
x

[gloriagilbert]

I understand what you're going through. I write an eating plan for the next day, every night. I start off really healthy, with maybe half an apple for breakfast and some tea for lunch.

By 3pm, I binge on all sorts of junk food.

Sometimes I allow myself to purge it. Other times I tell myself not to.
And even then, sometimes after I purge, I'll go for round two of binging.

Either way, I end up really reclusive. I lock myself in my room for the rest of the afternoon.

It's such a bad cycle.

[LessThanPerfect]

I just wish i could either eat properly and not care, or stick to an eating plan. im always inbetween. so confusing. x