what do you feel like?

[euphoria76]

Just curious as to how everybody feels when they are binging?
I get all panicky and shakey.

[guesswho]

while im actually eating i kinda zone out and seem to go on autopilot
afterward is the panic!
if i couldn't purge i think id be 300 lbs by now :eek:

[louie]

Well, I guess I feel pure panic. And disgust and fear. When binging there're lots of thoughts going through my mind, already terrified of the feeling after and awful about myself being too weak to stop..

[andreacarmenox]

i feel disgusting, and gross, and a failure. and then i too go on autopilot. and i get nervous when i realize i've eaten all my parents food and theres nothing left for me to stuff in my face. then i start shaking and panicking because i know i have to go purge, and sometimes i cry because i hate purging so fucking much. usually i cry during the purge though, and after i just pass out because i'm so exhausted.

[Self_Control]

I sorta go back and forth between panic, guilt, and feeling completely free. If I am having a bad b/p I swing back and forth between bawling and happiness. I suppose weird/uncontrollable/out of control feelings sum it up!

[EffyRose]

I'll feel like the biggest failure ever and so guilty.
Then I'll be like well you've fucked it now, you can't go back and like someone else said, I go into autopilot.
Then when I'm finished I'll feel terrible. It is the worst feeling ever.
Then you know what comes next.

[FAT ME]

i hate it i feel disgusting and like a fail but i go in to auto pilot then i purge and end up crying after it its so hard and horrible to deal with and i have to come up with stupid excuse when my mum comes in and has found out iv eaten all the food it makes me feel horrible and fat

[manymays]

while im actually eating i kinda zone out and seem to go on autopilot
afterward is the panic!
if i couldn't purge i think id be 300 lbs by now :eek:

I really really really agree with you ... autopilot ... it's also the, this obsessive streak to be "done" and finish what you paid for or what's in front of you. midway as im chewing i get this realisation what I'm doing but instead of stopping i am thinking of how to get it up and out so I try to remember what i swallowed first so to gauge where im at when im purging later

I think one really hard thing is to ... not go back and eat something once im done purging. idk why but its so lame and i keep doing that

[anonymousmia]

Ah I always back out, but then I say; "Once I get started I wont think about it until its over"
and voila, I end up thinking about random things while I purge and manage to get most of it up usually


*Hey! Does any one else notice that very sugary things dont come up until last, even if you ate them less then 5 min before you just started purging?
Whats up with that? I shall research up on it...

[shayyy333]

It depends for me.
If its a planned binge - meaning ive been really good recently and decided to reward myself by choosing some of the most delicious food well before hand - then i can relax and enjoy the binge, although i do sometimes feel guilty after.
If its a spur of the moment binge, its either autopilot or just nervous and paranoid (parents)
But sometimes if its a binge i tried really hard to avoid but couldnt... ill panic and cry and basically become depressed. And hate myself. But these kinds of binges are rare.

[quality coffee]

CompleteLy resigned. I just repeat to myself over and over 'u chose this now deal with it princess'

[I-Hate-You-Mia]

before a binge wen i get that feelin its guna happen but i dont want it to i get really anxious and pace up and down tryin to persuade my self not to and i have a fight in my head for ages screamin back and forth. then wen im binging the after the first bite i dont even enjoy it kuz im constantly counting kcal think about if it will come up easier etc etc, i dont enjoy it kuz i think 'fuck it iv failed' and just keep goin so im sooo full its uncomfortable..i dont even enjoy it im just think about the purge and how i dont wana do it and i wish i never started the binge i nthe first place. after a purge if i get everythin up i feel guilty but not too bad kind relieved and i can usually sleep better (i get insomnia) if i dnt get it all up i feel anxiety again get really snappy and sumtimes this leads to another binge...arghh mia sucks xx

[Leo]

I always cry during a purge. :[ I don't really know why. I guess I just feel disgusted with myself.

[Lokidoki]

I honestly feel really happy when I binge. I absolutely love food and sometimes that craving just takes over. Then when I get that full feeling, I feel disgusted, worthless, gross and pissed off. Why can't I just take one or two bites of the food I'm craving and be done with it? I have to eat the a whole frickin' plate (or two) of it. Soooo irritating!

[Lokidoki]

Ah I always back out, but then I say; "Once I get started I wont think about it until its over"
and voila, I end up thinking about random things while I purge and manage to get most of it up usually


*Hey! Does any one else notice that very sugary things dont come up until last, even if you ate them less then 5 min before you just started purging?
Whats up with that? I shall research up on it...

I've noticed that too! Maybe they start to digest really quickly. I have no idea.

[neenna]

as guesswho I kinda zone out too, pushes away my mind so I dont have to"see" it, if that makes any sense...
when Im done binging I just feel worthless, disgusting and like the biggest failure... and I feel sooo guilty when Im purging! it horrible. and if it was a bad binge, and the purging doesnt feel "enough" I cut.
and, yea, I get REALLY paranoid too! thinks that someone´s placed out cameras in every corner in the house, that someone gonna rush in.. etc. etc..

[skinnygirl]

..omg!! i go on a euphoric high .. i feel so good ..i zone out ..and nothing can stand in the way of my binge ..i jus feel sooo dam good ..but afterwarda i start feelong guilty ,i start stressing about all the calories ive eaten ..and literally count down the seconds till i purge .. sad *tear*tear* i know!