Remorse after going out

[scarlettsupper]

Does anyone else spend hours the day after going out reflecting on every single little act you made or thing you said and scrutinize every aspect of it? I'm guessing yes because I know it's quite typical to feel like that but I just manage to destroy any good time I ever have by worrying about how it looked to everyone else. I shouldn't give a fuck right, if I had fun I had fun and as long as no one got hurt in anyway by it that's ok right? See, how can I know the solution but just not let it ever sink in?? grrrrrr it's so frustrating!!!

[shayyy333]

no i totally understand. I dont stress over it as much as you, but i definately get mad at myself alot for doing something stupid (getting drunk and acting dumb, saying something ridiculous.....) And then later im like, 'im never doing that again!' and then a week later i do the sam stupid thing and stress about it again!!

[scarlettsupper]

yeah i always go out and do exactly the same things again! thing is I do enjoy myself and in hindsight nothing I do is ever really that bad...

I guess if I keep doing these things again and again it's obviously the way I want to behave deep down so I should just allow it.

[HollowedShame]

Hours.

I'll wonder why I couldn't have just looked everyone in the eyes and talked to them like a normal person. I'll think about something stupid I said, and scold myself. I'll agonize over the silly way I fumbled around with my things when I got ready to leave. Everything I do- 'Oh God, what is everyone else thinking of me?!' 'They probably think I'm terrible!' or 'I'm a failure!' It's pitiful really.

I mean, most of the time I don't think anyone is even looking at me. And the people I hang out with every week keep calling me up so I can't be that terrible. But I still can't seem to bring myself to look them in the eyes and behave like a normal friend should. I'm afraid I'll do or say one of my trademark, room-silencing things. Then I won't have anyone to hang out with anymore. D= Every week I tell myself I'm gonna be more open with them, and I'm gonna loosen up, but then I get there and... well... I pretty much just have a panic attack 'til I go home. =( And you can probably guess what I do when I get there.

[scarlettsupper]

Hours.

I'll wonder why I couldn't have just looked everyone in the eyes and talked to them like a normal person.

believe me I know how that feels

[missmermaid4]

honestly ill think of things that happened when i was like 11 years old. ill remember them as if they happened yesterday and ill be all "i should have said this instead". i dont understand why i even still remember some of the things i do.

[Worthless&Unbeautiful]

I do this, too.
I can be laughing with friends or smiling and then I realize how ugly and stupid I sound and look.

[make_me_perfect]

I am the same exact way...I hardly hang out with friends anymore because Im so afraid of doing something or sounding stupid, and the way i look. I don't know why i worry SO MUCH about what they're thinking about me, or if they're judging me, but it's slowly causing my social life to become almost non-existent...i hate it and wish i wouldn't be that way, but i'm not sure how to just stop thinking those things

[wen na ithil]

I do as well.. makes me not want to go out, not want to meet people.. though i love talking with strangers.
But i also obsess about things from years ago.. things i could have said, different actions with different effects.. but they are so present, so near..
crazy.. oh well, c'est moi..

[Alexandria]

Im so glad I opened this I didn't know anybody else felt this way/did that ! :(