high from purging?

[FishFace]

has anyone felt like you get a physical/mental good feeling from forcing yourself to vomit a lot?

Each day that I purge, I feel better than I've felt all day. Lately it's like I need to purge just to feel like myself, to feel okay. Sometimes I get a bizarre feeling if I've really thrown up a lot. It's like I'm sorta drowsy, and I get a floaty, numb feeling that lasts just a couple minutes. Honestly, it's better than anything I've ever felt. I've never used drugs, so it's the highest I've ever felt. For a few minutes, I feel totally pleasant and happy and I don't even feel the cold or the pain from my throat or anything. A little later, I'm freaking out again and feel awful. It's weird.

I really want to stop purging though. I want to stop needing that feeling just to get by.

[*AllIdreamAboutIsYou*]

I feel the same way everytime i do it too you feel like you actually acompilished(uhh cant spell:confused: ) and getting closer to having the perfect body i dont see why its so hard to get thin its unfair

[ohmyclapton]

Oh, Definitely! My favorite part is the begining of the binge, and right after purging. Its such a mindless activity and I can feel all the endorphins rushing through my body afterwards.
Like alcoholics and drug addicts that need a hit after a bad day, the purge makes all my stresses and bad thoughts go away.
One time I was so depressed at school, I downed a bottle of water to purge just to calm myself down.
Its not always about the food for me.

[Thru_The_Looking_Glass]

U are actually getting a natural high from purging.

As bulimics we have abnormally low amounts of serotonin (a neurotransmitter that makes ppl happy, to put it simply). Ppl with depression have the same problem, thus the reason that these disorders tend to coeincide.

We experience a rush of anxiety and panic after a binge, so we purge. While purging endorphins and dopamine are released (these too are neurotransmitters that feed into our pleasure center).

So like a "runner's high" we get naturally high off of our own neurotransmitters. Our brain actually rewards us for purging, part of the reason its so hard to quit.

Ive been a pretty hardcore bulimic for going on 8 years now, so i no longer enjoy the feeling, I need it to function some days. It is like being drug addict sometimes. There are days I cant leave my apartment til I purge, just because the feelings of depression are so overwhelming.

Sorry for the rant, I just thought u would like to kno that there is actually science behind our maddness :)

[FishFace]

Wow, thanks for that information Thru_The_Looking_Glass. I'm actually sorta glad to know that there is a reason why I seem to need that feeling (like, besides the satisfaction of expelling calories).

It's like a vicious cycle for me, though. Purging helps when I'm feeling depressed or angry or anxious, but needing to binge and purge every day seems to lead to most of these problems. I don't know get how this started.:(

Hopefully I'll be able to just go cold turkey, to give it up.

I got through today without purging. :)

[FishFace]

Scratch that previous comment-- I screwed up again today.

It's so hard to stop... but I guess I like to pretend it's not.

Oh well.