reaching the big O

[MissAnthrope]

Does anyone else have a hard time reaching orgasm because they are so worried about the way your body looks..??

[LightHeartedLightHeaded]

Yes!
I get so self concious.
and then my boyfriend thinks he isn't doing well enough.
So i have to fake it.

[MissAnthrope]

I fake it alot... sence Ive started this diet my anxiety about my body is getting worse....

[Alice Hunger]

I'm still a virgin, but when me and my... bed buddy.. would get together I was always too self conscious to enjoy anything. All I could think of when he lifted up my shirt was "oh gosh, there goes my fat belly. Now I'm he's gonna be all turned off..."

I don't think he noticed anything though... I'm so paranoid.

[JetBlack61]

yeah, i had this problem with my ex.. if you really want to reach that big o, work on clearing your mind. Do try to be honest with your guys, the good ones will thank you for it.

for the guys.. sometimes even if you dial the right number, you come up with a busy signal.

[averageguy]

for the guys.. sometimes even if you dial the right number, you come up with a busy signal.

I like that. :D

[Queen of Hearts]

I've done research on the topic, and whilst your paranoia about your appearance could be affecting your ability to orgasm; it is a fact that 40% of woman world-wide cannot physically have an orgasm. In porn movies and in the media, they make out like having an orgasm is a normal thing; it's not. It's not very common at all. The few woman who are lucky enough to be able to, usually can only do it for themselves, or need special toys etc.

A lot of women fake, so don't feel bad. Guys are mislead in life to believe that if their girl can't orgasm, it's their fault. Sometimes, that may be the case; but a lot of the time, the girl literally can't orgasm anyway.

So don't feel so self conscious and know that you aren't alone.

[Ruthless]

During sex I've never really been ashamed of my body... (except RIGHT after I ate or after I had my surgery). But I never really orgasmed with a guy anyways! haha Lots of faking it.

I only ever was ashamed of my body once during sex, and ended up having an amazing orgasm...

I'm weird

[Lilliah]

I've done research on the topic, and whilst your paranoia about your appearance could be affecting your ability to orgasm; it is a fact that 40% of woman world-wide cannot physically have an orgasm. In porn movies and in the media, they make out like having an orgasm is a normal thing; it's not. It's not very common at all. The few woman who are lucky enough to be able to, usually can only do it for themselves, or need special toys etc.

This is untrue - while many women find it near impossible to orgasm through VAGINAL stimulation, in studies where vibrators etc were used the vast majority of women were able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation - those who couldn't said they were nervous etc. I can go into specifics which demonstrates that it's a reliable cross-section but I can't be bothered unless you specifically ask xD In short, the idea that the female orgasm is a myth... is a myth in itself.

There is an enormous psychological barrier which turns into a physical hindrance if you're not relaxed. If you're paranoid about being caught, about not doing it right, about your body, etc. So yeah. I'm in the same boat, I can come relatively quickly by myself but never during sex. And I've never had a vaginal orgasm, like. Sorry if that's TMI.

I know what you guys mean about faking though. My last boyfriend got really glum about not being able to make me climax, despite me telling him that it didn't really matter to me (it doesn't, if I just want a quick release I'll do it myself, thanks), so I faked. I told the truth later when he asked, because I couldn't just lie to his face - he was even more hurt than he would have been otherwise.

[Sanne]

problem, but my husbond knew me before all this started, and a loong time before, I guess that's why.
He allways keep telling me how hot I am, allways...
I just trust he's words soo much....
But then, when we get up, I just can't believe in the words anymore..
Only when we have sex...
But still, I don't like having sex whit the light turned on, so maybe I am a little scared after all....

[anonomousmia]

100% agree with Lilliah. It's through vaginal stimulation where the majority of women cannot orgasm. I myself have NEVER orgasmed during sexual intercourse. Whereas I find it it easy with clitoral stimulation, either with a little help from my toys, or a bf LOL! Again, as Lilliah says, maybe TMI! :P! xx

[humanwaste]

Ughhh I hate sex with the lights on. I do not want my partner looking at me. And I know that's a bad thing because men are really big on visual stimulation. I think I also really crippled my most important relationship because I would never be on top because of my insecurity.

But to be honest, as far as I can tell, once a guy wants to have sex, he's stoked he got to take off your shirt regardless of practically anything that could be hiding under there.

[MissAnthrope]

I hafta have clit stimulation to cum... The doc started me on klodapins for anxiety... could this be my issue??

[Queen of Hearts]

This is untrue - while many women find it near impossible to orgasm through VAGINAL stimulation, in studies where vibrators etc were used the vast majority of women were able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation - those who couldn't said they were nervous etc. I can go into specifics which demonstrates that it's a reliable cross-section but I can't be bothered unless you specifically ask xD In short, the idea that the female orgasm is a myth... is a myth in itself.


I was never implying it was a myth, but it is still true that even with vibrators, toys and other clitoral stimulation; many women still cannot cum. Whether that is due to psychological issues, body perception, lack of experience with your own likes & dislikes, or a genuine inability to physically cum, is obviously open to speculation and debate and will be different for everyone. I have always been fully aware that vaginal orgasms are far, far less common than clittoral. I was just offering my own knowledge and experience.