Purging-Please Help

[Fail-Always]

I think this may have already been asked-this site is confusing for a newbie. Anyway, the past three days I have tried to purge. The first day I got a little bit. The second day, nothing. But I don't understand why I can't purge. I use a toothbrush and even when I brush my tongue whilst brushing my teeth, I feel sick. I had a soar throat today but tried anyway. I got nothing. I try it literally 20 times in a row. But when i stood up i felt sick, though I get nothing. Why do I fail at everything? :(

Help would be appreciated. Hope everyone is alright.

[Thru_The_Looking_Glass]

Take that as a sign you shouldnt be doing it. This site is not to teach u how to be bulimic, its to give u strength to recover. Its not fun and its not a game or a way to lose weight, so count ur blessings and stopwhileur ahead.

[FishFace]

Fail-Always-- your username explains how you feel, but you really shouldn't. Trying to throw up isn't straightforward and just doesn't work sometimes. I dunno.

I used to try to throw up every once in a while and I couldn't understand why it didn't work. All that came up was saliva. But then one day I got something up, and since then I've thrown up hundreds of times to get rid of food.

I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN ABLE TO THROW UP. I wish I'd kept failing so I wouldn't rely on it all the time now. I never thought I'd do it more than a few times... now I've just lost control.

And it sucks. Why?

It doesn't help me lose weight! I usually gain weight, because I just can't get up enough of what I ate. It drives me crazy. I wish I'd just eaten healthfully after that one binge when I first was able to throw up. I'd be way better off now.

There have been times when I've tried 20 times only to get nothing up, after I'd eaten like 5000 calories just because I thought I'd be able to get most of it up. But then it just doesn't! Even though I'd been able to throw up the day before! It is such an awful feeling.

Now I have nasty hard bruises on my hands from where I bite down as I struggle to get myself to vomit (the more I do it, the harder it gets). My stomach always seems to hurt, I have a sore throat, open sores on my lips (eew), frequent nosebleeds, puffy cheeks..... and for what? NOTHING. No weight lost. It drives me crazy.

I think the worst part is psychological though... I can't explain it, but it hurts.

I don't think throwing up a few times would hurt anyone, and I wish I could tell you how to do just that. But it doesn't end there. Why would it, if you know you can get away with throwing up again?

But I don't want you to end up feeling like I feel about this. So I really hope you can find another way to feel OK.

(BTW-- sorry for all my bitching. This is like my first post here... I guess I had a lot to get off my chest.)

[Sanne]

Don't go on trying hunn...
I am able to stand right upside down and just open my mouth and it all gets up... That is'nt good, cuz I am able to get out of control so I have to eat near a toilet...

Ed's is not something anyone just have to get, its something some of us have, and we are suffering...

[lalalalaah]

They're right, you don't want to start, I never used to be able to either and then I pushed too far and now I can't stop myself. It doesn't take anything at all and it just make it worse because it seems so easy. And even if you feel sick, it can't be half as bad as you'll feel after you have purged. I constantly feel like I've had the crap beaten out of me cause my ribs hurt like crazy. You should be counting your blessings and happy you can't make your body get into this.